Some reflections.....

We have been home for 9 weeks last Thursday and I have been thinking about our life since we met Andrew and Gracie in July 2009... for our first trip. We were fortunate to have the first half of our process to move fairly quickly without to many bumps unlike some other families in this process have experienced... To be in Bulgaria during this time was a great time to travel there for the beautiful flowers and the weather was nice... a little hot but not to bad. It really did feel like a second honeymoon for us ... we enjoy our adoption trips and each one is special in its own way... for us we would not do an adoption without both of us being a part of the whole process... and to be in a country like Bulgaria that is very beautiful and the people were friendly and we loved sharing this with our lawyer and her family, Toni. We stayed in hotels that were modern and eating the food was a huge part of our enjoyment as well as the company of Toni and her family when we ate meals....then to be meeting Andrew and Gracie.
Even though I hated leaving them behind I knew it was part of the process in Bulgaria.... The Lord had called us clearly to adopt these 2 precious ones and so this is what we had to do. It did make it harder because we had seen Andrew suffer some not very positive conditions and treatment in his orphanage even while we were with him and we wondered what did they do to him when we were not present ? Gracie's orphanage was better but still there was some not to positive things we observed there as well. None the less we knew the Lord was watching over them until we could come back.
We had more bumps during the second part of the process but eventually we did return for our babies ... and came home Christmas eve with them... At our house it is always crazy.... just with the number of children in our family.... but to say that our Christmas was quiet and peaceful well... adding to to it this year were 2 very tired and confused little ones and super tired parents :) It has been a gradual process of trasitioning Andrew and Gracie into our family... my heart looks at the pictures from our July trip and I see so many changes in them and in us..... From these little ones in July to the children they have become in a little time at home in a family who loves them.....

This is what we saw in July.....

A little boy so wiped out from throwing up one time that he had no energy... most likely because he did not get enough to eat.. and it did not take much to rob him of his energy.....he weighed less than 20 lbs when he came home at 5 yrs and 2 months old....

A little boy who was not allowed to suck his thumb and when he did with us would slap himself because he did something he was not allowed to...

A little boy who would slam his foot hard to express his frustration when the stroller stopped... and I am sure from the callus on his heels he did this lots....

A litle boy who was not encouraged enough to walk and explore his environment... who was left in his crib most of his 5 yrs....

A little boy not happy with his cargiver and expressing himself loudly... and probably suffering for it later...

A little girl who was always looking out and away from her world in the orphange...and the arms of her daddy ready to help her.....

A little girl who was on the outside... to shy or afraid or maybe even not wanted, to get closer to the group....

A little girl who loved the trash to the candy she was given...amost as much as the candy...because that is what they all played with instead of toys....

A little girl who was peeking thru a toy...not really knowing what to do with a toy and was being shy to the people in the room with her....

A little girl who was not comfortable with being held by even someone she had no understanding of was her daddy.....

A little girl who was sort of lost to herself...and not interested in being with others just watching...

A little girl who made this face when she was uncomfortable with something....

A little girl who is afraid of a stranger.. who does not trust yet...