We are doing things a bit diff. this year for our Christmas

I am actually at my daughter, Jenn's house visiting her family for our Christmas... since we won't be able to get together before or during... I decided to make a quick trip down with Mya, Cate,Leah and Isasc. We have a a great visit as always! This year for Christmas we are doing something a bit different... we are trying to encourage being together over gifts. So for each grandchild we are hoping to take them out and let them choose a gift and then we get ice cream or dinner at McDonalds. So I took out Ezra and Ella today and they chose their gifts from Nana and Paw Paw. Now they are 2 and 4 yrs... Jenn decided they could choose to open one now and keep one for Christmas am.. We are also doing this with our kids. They have each gotten a certain amount to pick out or can choose the whole amount ... I have already done stocking gifts and I put the gifts in a big bag, one for each child. It is a holiday bag that hold all of their gifts... instead of wrapping. ( we came up with this idea last year and it went over well)... Since we are traveling in a little over a week and come home Christmas eve this is what we came up with... I think though from what we have seen so far we may keep this tradition. The kids have loved it and it is teaching them about budgeting.... and we spend time doing it together. Paul took the older boys ... they went to dinner and spent the evening picking out their gifts...

We have done Christmas gifts diff. ways but so far I am liking this idea.. also the day of Christmas will be simple. Since we most likely will get home and thru customs... at midnite if the flight is on time keeping things simple sounds best... and just celebrating being together will be the best gift we can give each other..and the best presents will be in our arms.... Gracie and Andrew :)

Our Cate is 17 today...

She has been home 4 yrs Dec. 5. We helped her celebrate her 13th birthday in Ukraine 4 yrs ago and she reminded us of this tonite... "Do you remember 4 yrs ago at this time we were eating my birthday cake?" She is also one that others might say we took a chance on adopting... an older child, a teenager who grew up her whole life in the orphanage... but you know what we sure are glad we did.... because she is a beautiful , sincere, deeply loyal and caring young lady... who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him with her life.

She was born to a 13 yr old mom and given up at birth. She has a strong personality, a leader and giver and natural server. When we adopted her the teachers and director said to work her hard... that she loves to work in the garden, carpentry, cleaning . We thought that was an odd comment to say to us but that is how they treated her.... we picked her up in the am one day on our visits and she had taken the huge tapestry rug down from the wall that was in their room... they waited until we brought her back at nite for her to put it back up... now she can work and work hard but she is so much more than they gave her credit ... because they had her work all the time she was not very strong with her school work. She did not know her times tables or how to multiple simple math problems. She has a very loud voice when she wants to and is sort of bossy well lots bossy... but actually that has been one of her strengths...

Now she has come up to grade level in math and reads well too. She can write but still struggles in this area. When Mary Kate had Ava Cate learned about another part of herself... she is a huge nurturer... she loves babies and children and is very gentle and a natural mothering type to them. She is also my right hand person... I can always depend on her to make sure things are done at home if I am gone... she would make a great nurse... she anticipates before someone needs something... she is sensitive to others needs and wants to help others. She can be crazy and goofy but she is also the one who volunteers to take part in an activity... she is loved by the leaders in her youth group as well as her friends. This story shows alot about her personality... once on a retreat one of the leaders lost their cell phone... All the other girls sat in the car but Cate is the one who is doing... helping to find it. She will carry all the luggage and pack it and orgainize others... she loves music and is on the drama team at church. She is an out there personality but is happy also being a behind the scenes type too.

Her transition into the family was easy... she had a teacher whom she loved and she felt loved by her so we are grateful for her ability to attach. She is deeply attached to her family and will help other siblings with their needs or behavior much like Joseph does.. Actually they are from the same orphanage and adopted at the same time with Leah and Joseph... but not bio. siblings.

Sure she was a teenager with a past and even the director did not want us to adopt her with Joseph because they did not get along well in the orphanage setting... but now you would never know that... they are fiercely attached to each other and would defend each other to anyone who hurt or challenged their sibling... they are a team on many positive activities... it was them who came up with the idea and put most of our adoption shower together... they are also going with us when we pick up Gracie and Andrew. It should be a meaningful trip for both of them. She has shared in church and at a conference I spoke at about her desire for others to adopt older, teens. She knows what it is like for them back in Ukraine. So if you are considering adoption and want to speak to her or us about older or teens email us... we would love to encourage anyone to at least open their heart to this as a possibility...

In the picture of her hugging me... that was tonite after she opened her presents and we were going to eat her cheesecake.. she came over to me and thanked me and just wanted to hug... then her tears flowed... she is such a sensitive one... I just love her!

Dogs sure help love our kids... and that helps the kids to learn to love

We used to have 5 dogs but in the last 2 yrs we lost our beloved Levi ( lab/australian shepherd) and sweet little Abbie ( a very mini dashaund) at Christmas. Amazingly our Annie (golden retriver) the oldest of the bunch who is 16 yrs made it thru last winter... we do not think she will make it to Christmas because we have seen her decline in the last few days... we also have Katy ( choc. lab) who is also old and not well and Willi ( a white lab- litter mate of Levi). We love our dogs and I guess you could say we are "dog" people.... Paul and I both have always loved animals but especially dogs. We have very prolific guppies ( fish) and our parakeets even breed a few yrs ago . Olivia has a hampster... and that is the range of our pets for now. We have had a horse, frogs, turtles, liazards, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits and 2 chickens. Where we live now we can't have some of the farm animals but a farm would be nice for the kids.

I wanted to share how much having pets and especially for us our dogs add so much to our family. They help with the transitions of our adopted children too. Our kids learn responsiblity by taking care of our pets but, they also learn alot about loyalty and love from them. You will often find many of them laying on one of the dogs or sharing their blanket or pillow with them while watching tv...

We watched Molly and Mike's puppies for a few days this week and you can see how much the kids loved taking care of Roxy and Bella... of course we have been asked a zillion times for another puppy but , we have said after Annie and Katy die we might...

Here are some happy pictures of the kids with their dogs... who unconditionally love them no matter what... that is a kind of love that many orphans have never experienced. Watching our children love and be gentle with the dogs is very gratifying...

Be Still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I don't know what it is like at your home but, at ours it is always busy, noisy and active. It seems like the loudest time is when we call everyone to dinner... the kids are excited, hungry and talking. They settle down when we give thanks and a peace settles for a moment as we take time to thank the Lord for our day and food. We have other times of quiet and stillness.. during times of school, when we do family devotions and pray and at nite when they have gone to bed...There is such power and our hearts are touched deeply when there is stillness. Tears have been shed and children have been held and hearts have opened up within this time of stillness....

Last nite when I asked the kids about their first mom... at first they all talked and the room was full of lots of sharing and then a stillness came after we all settled down with their thoughts of life before they came home.... we knew that with everything in our past .. God is still God, and He can use our life for a purpose if we choose to allow Him to. When we cease focusing on ourselves, there is, " the peace of God which transcends all understanding"-Phil. 4:7 ; "quietness and trust" Isa. 30:15, which is the source of all strength ; a "great peace" that will never "make them stumble" Ps. 119:165; and a deep rest, which the world can never give nor take away. Deep within the center of the soul is a chamber of peace where God lives and where, if we will enter it and quiet all the sounds, we can hear His "gentle whisper" 1 Kings 19:12

Even in the fastest wheel that is turning, if you look at the center, where the axle is found, there is no movement at all. And even in the busiest life, there is a place where we may dwell alone with God in eternal stillness.

There is only one way to know God : "Be still, and know." "The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him" Hab. 2:20

Sometimes we all have walked under starless skies that have dripped darkness like a drenching rain. We have despaired from the lack of light from the Son. The gloomy darkness has loomed above us as if it would last forever... and from that dark there seemed to be no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts.

For our adopted children they have experienced such darkness and despair... but we as their parents hope to give them the chance to find the still small voice of the Lord... to be able to say back to the Lord themselves, "Your soft whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our brusied and bleeding souls than any winds that blew across our life before. It was your "gentle whisper" that spoke to us. We were listening and we heard You, and then we looked and saw Your face, which was radiant with the light of Your love. And when we heard Your voice and saw Your face, new life returned to us, just as life returns to withered blossoms that drink the summer rain. Paul and I have seen many of our children's faces express this and it has been very life giving to us to be a part of helping our older kids overcome their past and look with hope to the future.

Momma the Sweetest Sound I know

Today we spent the whole day cooking and baking for our Thanksgiving feast... it was fun and I sure enjoyed the kids. We had lots of time to talk and share and I heard them say mom or momma so many times today. It got me thinking about what it is like for my children who had a mom before me to now have a second mom. So tonite I asked all my children who could remember their first mom to tell me a little about her. These are a collection of their memories bad and good of their mom:

She had brown hair. I remember when I would fall asleep she would lay with me and leave after I went to sleep.

I don't really remember my mom. I can't remember what she looked like ( this was by a daughter who was old enough to). I had my mom's sister come and visit me after my mom died and I was in the orphanage. The caregiver told her not to come back because I called her mom.... but, I did remember her.

I remember one time trying to wake her up but she was drunk and would not wake up.

She had brown reddish hair, long and straight, green eyes and she smiled like Olivia. She helped us with our school work. She was a good cook. One of my favorites was sugar candy. She worked in a bakery. Then this daughter told me a story about a shelf in her home and this is how she described it," It's kind of like ours." My heart leapt when I heard her say it that way because I knew that she now had some ownership to her new home by saying the word," ours".

The 3 sisters described loving when their mom made kasha, a pea and barley soup and perogies. There mom also had a vegtable garden. They described some not positive things about bad guys trying to break in to their house and mom not letting them in.... and one broke glass and there was blood all around. They also described a Red House - which sounded like a drug house and a place where bad things happened to girls like rape... the it was mentioned, " They killed dad."

Red hair and she worked on a farm. The farmer was rich. She gave me money.

Finally one of my daughters had nothing at all positive to say about her mom. She was very scary. She always was the one to start the fights with my dad. She would grab me and throw me down.. she described many other fights and crying and then running to her sisters.

I also asked them what it was like to have a second mom... all were genuinely positive responses... and one said," I love my second mom". I told him I knew that he loved me... becasue when my own daddy died last May... he would not leave me alone... he stood by me all the time for a month afterwards. He would rub my back and my arm. When I layed down to nap on the couch... he brought his toy cars over to play right by me.

What is it like to call someone momma , someone who did not give birth to you? I got one answer that said, " I love it here and would not want to go back to that." This just shows you how resislient these children are. Some of them have had very negative family experiences and I even shared with them how much they all had overcome... these are the most compasionate children/people I know. They are so attached to their new family and we are to them... they love spending time with me their momma in the kitchen cooking and baking for Thanksgiving. I heard Leah say," When I get married and leave here I will always come back for Thanksgiving to eat momma's food." Once on a talk show we were asked how do we love so many... honestly one way I do is to cook and bake for them. They get so excited and our meal is enjoyed ... not so much because I am a good cook but just the fellowship that we all share.... and now with these dear ones we are making memories... happy ones for them to cherish the rest of their lives.

It is so rewarding and I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for the opportunity for all of my children to call me momma. As I shared previously... I love being a momma to all of my kids.

Just some ramblings and a Joseph update

We leave in only 16 more days... we will be together with our 2 beloved babies in Bulgaria very soon. We went over our pictures once again for the millonth time and we listened to several of our videos again... it sure makes us anxious and excited for our reunion... we left them July 31 and July 24... it has been a long time and we are almost there. Lots has happened during our waiting time... besides the paperwork for the adoption and all the signatures and wait times... we have had a wedding ( Mary Kate and Keith were married). We went to the beach for their wedding and our vacation. We started school and it has been going very well... lots of birthdays celebrated, Halloween and soon Thanksgiving as well....Mya's surgery and that is going very well too... ( we had our first post op Monday... and our pt is great, her leg had consiladated some because of some slack in the adjustment bar... but after me doing 12 turns in 2 hrs there- which was 4 days worth.. her femur seperated and Dr. Standard was very pleased. Otherwise she would have had outpatient surgery to once again break the femur) .... the kids are so excited for us to bring them home. They hated our last trip because we did not bring them home :) Our hearts have ached deeply for them and it is so hard to believe it is almost here when we will be forever together. It is so true that absence makes our hearts grow fonder....I am amazed at how deeply we all have bonded with them .. Paul and I after only spending 5 days with each one and the kids at home never having met them... and only having the pictures and videos to watch.

I place their pictures everywhere .. around the house , in our bathrooms even... and on the dash of our cars and vans.... this way we all feel that they have been with us in a way....

On another side... we appreciated your suggestions and concern for Joseph not being able to travel with us.... we prayed and talked alot over the weekend and we decided to call his doctor and see if he would support by a letter and documents for Joseph to take a medical leave of absence thru FMLA... and as soon as his doctor signs the last forms it got approved for him to travel with us.... his doctor graciously wrote the letter and Joseph is dropping off the forms Wed... I can't tell you how happy he was today. So was momma. Thank you for your prayers and suggestions. More on this later... but also thank you to Stacy the HR person at his store who cared about this... she was wonderful!

Adoption Thoughts from the Silent Partner......

While I have found my life to be average in many ways, tonight is another first.....My first blog entry....and it would figure that the subject that I would blog on first would be my anything but average......my family; particularly the 'grafted in' branches......kids...adopted kids...

This is a bit strange for me....I really don't know who the audience is for this writing....I don't feel like I am addressing it to anybody in particular (which is really weird for me, a person who deals with hundreds of emails and messages each day; all to specific individuals)....but I do feel challenged to share some of my heart for adoption....and while I didn't exactly volunteer to blab on about my feelings (not exactly a strength of mine), I honestly do look forward to what my heart will bear out thru this keyboard.

So November is National Adoption month......it's great to have some special attention....Adoption is a very impacting subject..one filled with great variety of emotions......it is truly deserving of having a month of 'recognition'....It's one of those subjects that almost everybody agrees is a good thing.....but like so many things in life, after the spotlight moves on the subject fades into darkness....too true for so many childrens lives. I find the parallel to Religon very similar.....when people are watching, many wear the religon mask....but it is when nobody is watching that you can tell what is really in someones nature..in their heart....same with adoption....many people wear the mask of 'caring' about children and adoption...but when it comes to 'doing', that is another thing....

Kids.....kids are kids.....yes, Iknow that kids (like adults) too often want what they can't have, more of this and less of that, always want to be someone else, be taller, shorter, diff eyes or hair (especially the tweens and teens), but kids mainly want to be kids.....and kids should be allowed to be kids......kids should get the nurturing, love and attention that are so needed for a full life; from belonging to a family that loves them unconditionally....but this just isn't the case with so many orphans...

It is real joy to me to see kids being kids.....infants discovering everything around them (and learning to control their world at such an early age), toddlers starting to venture out, elementary with an innocence and carefre abandon, teens with all the energy and challenges....young adult kids who can't wait to be on their own, and yet love keeping that path open to your home....every age has different challenges....and opportunities...and to imagine having all of that under one roof; that's the Briggs family/home.......I never really pictured this as my life as I was growing up; but I could never picture any other life but this now....

And that is so cool....people ask why we do it, adopt so many kids.....it isn't a simple answer, yet it really is....we do it cuz we love being around kids....we love helping kids w no chance to have a chance.....we love watching the kids develop (ok, so some days are more fun 'watching' than others)....I can't explain the feeling I get when I look in the rear view mirror and see all those 'lives' buckled in...and making noise of course....I can't explain how I feel when I hear my kids call me daddy....I can't explain how I love to explain things (most of the times...in my patient moods) to my boys; how to paint a wall, how to install a door knob, how to wash a car, how to throw a football...and to be a daddy to my girls; to tease and to be teased....to try and show all my kids that God has a plan for their lives and we are so excited to be a part of it...and excited for them to discover it.

Jeane and I have been blessed with 5 wonderful bio kids...It has been incredible to watch them from birth to where the are now; remembering being full of so much 'unknown' as we started our family...and so much joy now to see where and who they are; all of them.....and our choice to 'refill the empty nest' reflects the core of our relationship; to follow where Christ calls us...We are also so richly blessed to have the 19 adopted kids.....we've been filled over and over with a lot of 'unknown'...but time and time again God has showed himself faithful....we don't adopt because it is easy or just feels good, it is our heart, our calling...I've shared that having all these kids isn't easy in many ways, but when you know you are doing what you are supposed to be doing there is a peace in the midst of all the pressure.

Adoption.....it is a part of true religon that God finds worthy.....and like any parenting it makes you realize your limitations and need for extra strength/patience/grace/mercy/energy that comes from a heavenly source....and for me, the real pull to adopt is to make a difference in life; a childs life..I've been a part of and surrounded by Corporate life; I've had postion and titles and watched many many people around me talk about their investments.......having walked the halls in many orphanages and seen the faces of counltess orphans, I remember them.....and I pray that more of them find families and become former orphans....

Adoption.....just do it.

Conviction vs Preference- why you do what you do?...

When we moved to Virginia almost 15 yrs ago... from Maryland we had to choose how we were home schooling... meaning why do we homeschool? In Virginia a family can homeschool with a religious exemption . You had to get some affedavits from some people who knew you and have them state you were homeschooling because of a conviction to teach your children verses just a preference based on you religious beliefs. We obtained this while we were there home schooling our kids. At the time the question of why we do what we do came up in our famiy discussions... is it of a deep conviction or just a personal preference... now what is the difference. This is how it was defined by us... a conviction is worth it all- you would go to jail for your belief or worse. A preference on the other hand is something if you were pressed you would change or at least consider. It is a matter of how strongly you stand up for your belief when it becomes hard....

We feel convicted to home school our children and so that is why we went that route to home schooling while in Virginia. I personally feel that all parents should be convicted of how they should teach their children whatever option they feel lead to...

Since that time in Virginia I have been profoundly affected by this thought of my convictions and it has changed my life. I am a very independent thinker and decision maker... I am not easily swayed by others or what they think. I have always been like this and so convictions are deep in me and thought out to all degrees....I believe the Lord challenges me to be like this and gave me this type of personality... also my parents raised me to be a strong, independent thinker. We had many heat discussions around the dinner table about issues and we did not always agree.. Paul was totally amazed at how my family could function like this and get up from the table and still speak to one another.. we were raised to know what we believed and why. I also believe it is very Biblical to know what we believe and why...

Now many of you know my heart for adoption and how long that heart has been molded to love orphans... and I can honestly say it is a deep and very personal conviction of mine that comes from several verses in the Bible as well my personal experience with the Lord... I know that He loves children and has an ache and grieves for the orphans... James 1:27 Religion that
God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. There are so many more verses and all have deepened my conviction for helping orphans. My own personal experiences with our adoptions and visiting the many orphanages we have been to has brought me closer to the Lord's heart for these children...

Paul and I are strongly prolife and live out this belief thru our conviction and walk in our adoption journeys. This is one of the main reasons why we have such a heart for the special needs children.... we have also seen our own children overcome and strive towards a better and healtier life. To us all life is precious and blessed and given thru the Lord. We have decided based on our convictions of pro life to adopt... to keep adopting special children until the Lord tells us differently....

There is a great reward and feeling to sticking to these convictions... one they become deeper and more intense in our hearts and walk, they give us more faith and a realization of the amazing Lord we serve and how wonderful to watch as he provides for us as we walk out these convictions that we believe He has placed in our hearts....

Adopting and birthing children is an absolute high for me... but an even greater feeling of fulfillment comes from knowing that the Lord has called me to be a part of His will and then watching Him work thru me ... all because I open my heart to Him and allow Him to fill me with His convictions. Do I have a preference when I am doing the Lord's will ? I also believe in free will but I hand over freely my own will to His... and so my convictions related to pro life, home schooling and orphans make me willing to go thru with them to completion even when it gets tough... and all life lived is tough at times....

So what makes you do what you do? I know when I close my eyes at nite for rest... that I serve an amazing God and I can do more for the causes or convictions He has placed in my heart. Thanks for listening to my postings about this and I'd be interested in hearing why some of you do what you do?

This is not a post about adoption per say but in a way it is...

When we came home from our first trip to Bulgaria Joseph had shared he really wanted to go back with us when we picked up his new brother and sister and to visit the orphanages. We had talked with Toni our lawyer and she was very open to this idea. Well then one day for some reason I can't remember Cate also was given the opportunity to go back with us. So we sent off for her passport and she started to raise money for her trip... she has gotten all her necessary funds and passport.

Joseph works at the Hagerstown, Maryland Sam's Club and had saved his funds to go and had already gotten a passport in hopes of one day getting the opportunity to travel with us back to an orphanage... He has grown up completely in the orphanage his whole life... he never met his parents or even knew he had siblings ( he met them because we needed their signature for court- even though they never made contact with him). He was adopted at almost 16 yrs and had actually been moved to a hell hole of a technical school. They had no heat, not enough food ( you had to pay the director extra money to get more) and his window was broken in his room... no glass in it ( to get it repaired you also had to pay the director extra money) and he only had one pair of old woolen pants and a shirt. He had been abused by others and made fun of for his inability to speek like everyone else due to his cleft lip/palate issues. Cate, Naty and Leah were in the same orphanage ( not technical school) and they shared of many times he was beaten by bullies... in summer he was sent to the insane aslyum because they thought he was crazy because he could not talk well and the other kids were sent to the beach. So he has had a rough life.... but you would not ever see any of the bad behavior or abuse come out in him...it has made him super sensitive to others... he has so much compassion it amazes me... he hates sad movies like the Titanic because of the emotions expressed in it... he is a softy.. I also can count on him to be there when needed... he has an excellent work ethic and ability to get the job done. He is a great older brother too... I call him my holy spirit whisperer... if one of his siblings is acting up he can help them see it and they change ... they listen to him....

Sure we took a chance on adopting an almost 16 yr old boy with his background... but, we are so glad we did. He gives so much to others . He cares for others in such a way that I know the Lord uses him to spread the love of the Lord to whomever he comes around. He is well liked and loved by many....

Now tonite my momma's heart is breaking for him because this trip to Bulgaria is a very big deal to him ... for many reasons... it is a chance for him to be able to come to terms with some of his life before he was adopted. I think it will help him immensely to deal with his past... having us there and also being a part of the process to adopt his brother and sister. He will also have the opportunity to give back some to the orphans we will be visiting and it would have been a life changing experience for him....

Now the reason my heart breaks for Joseph is all along he told his managers at Sams that he would be taking time off for this trip... at first we thought it was going to be in late Oct. and then late Nov.. and now it is the middle of Dec... even as late as a week ago the head manager at the Sams told me, "It would not be a problem" when I shared we would know our dates Nov. 17... just yesterday though when he submitted his request .. it was denied. Joseph even called the regional manager ( who is the store managers boss) and Joseph and I spoke with him ( because Joseph is hard to understand on the phone sometimes with his cleft palate) I shared for him in the conversation... his name is Casey and he was proffessional about it but restated their policy of no time off during the holidays.... we understand this but we know last October they did give another employee time off ( a month) for a personal reason similiar to this.... Joseph is their top plus seller and he really is a great employee... every week that I go there to shop... and if Joseph is around me helping ( not working) lots of customers recognize him and comment to me what a great person and worker he is... then they will ask him where something is and off he will go to help them... even when he is not working... that is just the kind of person he is. I have even been shopping in another store with him and had Sams Club customers recognize him and say wonderful things about him.. it is very uncanny but makes me very proud of my son.

It also makes my heart hurt for him...they said he could quit and reapply after the holidays... but they would start him at starting pay and not fulltime ... so really that hurt just as much to hear that... Joseph even offered to take the time off and not get paid... even though he is owed vacation time and personal time and will loose it if he quits. Sams obviously does not value their employees but I won't go there more than this comment... what really hurts is Joseph has never ever really wanted anything in life before... other than a family and now this trip... a trip to help him overcome some past in his life and to face the future better... another upsetting part of it to me is... if we had not had all the delays waiting after our first trip like the "wonderful" embassy consular in Sofia, or the MOJ or the added days to the process because of the new law, Joseph could have gone... so you remember my post from that frustrating time...

So please pray for Joseph... he will say he is ok ... he has considered quitting but probably won't . It just really upsets me that he has to work at a place who really does not care . I know in my heart he is hurting... one more time in his life he gets a disappointment... one more time he is being seen not for who he is but just another worthless being to be used ...

This is what a family does- they are there for you

Here is an update on Mya and my adoption thought for the day... For those of us who are in a family we already know what it is like to have those around us who care... if we are sick they bring comfort, or drinks, rub your back, watch non stop tv with you. If you don't pass your drivers test they believe in you. If you are not treated well by someone (outside your family) they are there supporting you and standing with you. If you loose your job or have an accident they will come along side you. They believe in you and encourage you to go on.... they welcome you home from the hospital.

Mya has been doing very well. She has times when she gets down but she has down way better than I thought she would. Her physical therapy is hard especially when I bend her knee. She is so funny because the first bend is the hardest and she will say to me," I want to start with the second one Mom!" Actually she yells it because it hurts... but we do it and you know who usually is holding her or letting her "choke" her neck during the bendings.. Cate. Cate does everything for her little sister... whatever Mya asks Cate wants to do... she is sitting by her now watching the Christmas tv movie... rubbing her l foot that hurts some. Here is a picture of Mya's brothers the other nite.... she was thirsty and they all jumped up quick to help her :) Here is another picture of Mya walking with her walker.... she needs help and walks across the room with someone holding up her l leg. It really is very heavy and she is a tiny , little one.... lots of hardware for her to lift but she tries. She has a can do attitude most of the time... the first time the therapist visited us in the hospital to help get her in her wheelchair..Mya looked up at her and said," Can I move myself in there?" That gives you an idea of how independent she is.

It has helped her lots to have all her brothers and sisters right there with her... holding her, sharing her pain and loving her thru it all. I do not think anyone of these kids would have done as well as they have if it were not for their siblings and family. To be loved and accepted just as we are in a family.

Don't all children deserve this too?

To die in the arms of loved ones but to die with no one caring...

Some friends of ours experienced today what no parent can fathom... the Northcrafts at our church lost their son. He was just 2 yrs and 11 months old. He was born with only half of his heart... he had some heart surgeries and was waiting in Pittsburgh for a heart transplant but just was too weak and he passed today into the arms of Jesus. They are an amazing family and I know they are hurting and in pain tonite but they are also unbelievably strong in their faith and have a peace about the loss of Aaron. He had the biggest, blue eyes and the dearest smile. He suffered much but brought much joy to everyone. He was a gift who was treasured and loved. Please pray for our friends. Aaron has 2 older brothers and it will be especially hard for them.

All life is precious and deserves to be wanted and loved. There are so many orphans who do not experience anyone wanting them or caring if they were to die... no one who cares if they cry or are sick. I know in Gracie's orphanage if the child is sick there is no sick room but, they expect them to hang with their group even when they go outside to play... no one is allowed to lie down in their bed when they are sick. They older kids have shared stories of friends in their orphanges who have died and no one cared but the other orphans... one story was of a girl who ate poisonous mushrooms and died and not one person cared. I know of a single mom who was hoping to adopt 2 special needs little girls and before she could Ukraine made a law that stopped all single family adoptions... then the following winter the 2 girls died when the flu went thru the orphanage... how sad they could have been in a loving family... but at least now they too are with Jesus.

One of my biggest fears has been that the flu would hit the orphanages where Gracie and Andrew are... there was some news in Yambol a few weeks back about the swine flu hitting that town hard... so far Andrew has been healthy... he would have a difficult time just because his calorie needs are not being met and I am not sure they would take care of him... What would it be like to be hot with a fever and aching all over and no one to give you enough drink or medicine to help you.. or even stroke your face or let you suck your thumb to comfort you? But at least someone would shed tears for our dear sweet ones... but there are some who no one would....

I know there will always be orphans and we can't help them all but you know the ones that we can will have a better life and are loved and would have tears shed for them.

When we have stepped out in faith... the Lord has always provided for our family

I often get asked how do you afford to adopt so many children? I will attempt to answer the reason why.... It all begins when I was a little girl....I have loved children even when I was a child. If there was a baby in my presence I drifted over to them, I begged my parents for lots of brothers and sisters. I also when I was older loved reading about orphans or the stories of people overcoming some very severe and harsh things in their lives. I loved the movies like Annie and Oliver. I read the Orphan Train series of books... my heart was being molded and softened to the plight of orphans even as I was growing up. I believe that my purpose has been to help the children who no one cares about...it is so very easy for me to open my heart and home up to another one....I believe that the Lord placed this love in my heart for orphans. I also think that each one of us is given a certain love and we are to address that with our life... our life song so to speak. My heart does sing and is the happiest when I am mothering and sharing my love to my children.

Now I believe I recieved a sort of call on my life as a child to fulfill this need in me to love children.. this call came from the Lord no doubt in my mind or heart. It is costly though to adopt...anywhere from 10,000 to 50,000 per child for everything involved in the adoption. We have adopted mostly special needs children and have been given a lesser amount we had to pay because the agencies were trying to help these children find homes. We have also been able to get some grant money for some of our adoptions. Also Paul's employer has an adoption benefit that is really very unique and positive towards adoption. They will reimburse you for 10,000 per child, per adoption. So for this adoption we will get back from his company 20,000 dollars when we submit our court documents and receipts for the expenses paid... now our adoption of these 2 is costing us about 35,000 dollars total. For a comparison it cost us 53,000 total for the adoption of our 5 children from Ukraine... we got a check in Paul's account for 50,000- so we paid a grand total of 3,000 for the 5 children where this time it is costing us 15,000 out of our pocket... this gives you an idea of our cost...

Now I share this to say we don't have a deep bank account at all... the money we get reimbursed for is already spent ... we just pay that off when we get it.... we live like most of you.... living paycheck to paycheck.... however we also serve an amazing Lord who we have seen provide for us and our adoptions in some pretty neat ways. Paul's employer has been very supportive of adoptions and we are grateful for that... even when we have traveled for as long as 6 weeks for one of our adoptions. When we have gotten grants for the exact amount of our adoption or the cost was reduced dramatically for an adoption we could see and know the Lord had his hand in it... when we start out with absolutely no money..none at all... and we owe someone a significant amount of money for an addition he built for us and as soon as we decided to be obedient to the call of the Lord to adopt the next child... that contractor calls and says," we have been praying about this money you owe us and we love your family and your ministry and want to support you... we forgive your debt to us. " and they never knew we were considering adopting again we know the Lord again was showing us... you step out in faith and I will provide....

And provide He has... over and over and over again in my life as I listened closely to His still small voice telling me that He loves the orphans and cares for them ... just as clearly as I hear my own familie's voices the Lord speaks to me thru my love for orphans... Once when it was Christmas eve a few yrs ago there was a mega lottery being played in several states including ours.... now we do not advocate this as a way to pay for adoption or even to play... but I had this notion and I am enough of a child myself especially at Christmas... I thought and told my husband to buy a ticket and I just knew we would win... because it was the "magic" of Christmas or something like that :) Well we bought one ticket ( the Lord only needs one to "bless us").. well on Christmas day we heard that someone in WV had won... I just knew it was us... but alas it was not... the next day we were doing devotions with the kids and the Lord spoke very clearly to us... He said," If you need a million dollars than you will have a millon dollars for my purposes." Then I knew that if we did need that amount to do the Lord's work than it would be provided... so from that I say we are all millionaires if we need to be..... I can not tell you how many times the amount of money has come in... sometimes in some strange ways... My dear father died in May... and he had a life insurance policy that my brother, the executor cashed and dispursed in Aug... it was the exact amount we needed for our next part of the adoption after our first trip... not anymore or less... My daughter and her husband are well into their adoption of hopefully 2 from Ethiopia... I shared the other week that they held a yard sale and got the exact amount they needed to mail off their documents.... not more or less the right amount. These is at least the 2nd or 3d time this has happened for them... they sold thier jeep for the exact amount needed to send in for the I600 A process... so it is not just us but our children who are also experiencing the hand of the Lord's provision in their adoption...

I know it is scary to step into the unknown but, following where ever the Lord is leading is always the safest place to be.... just like the Newsboys song goes... In the hands of God... that is right where I want to be... watching and experiencing this wild and amazing journey of life and adoption.

How do we afford to adopt so many... I say how do we afford not to adopt... if the Lord has called and we obey ... He will provide....Our family can be an encouragement to others because we do not have any extra money but we have lots of faith built up thru years of trusting in the Lord's provision... being on the cutting edge of life and depending on the one we have fallen in Love with.. our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Remember my blog months ago about a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan.... well we are crazy in love with Jesus and only want to live our lives serving Him by caring for the children He brings to our hearts and home.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine what it will be like for Gracie and Andrew when we meet again? We had a wonderful time in July with both of them... Gracie is from Vidin and Andrew is from Yambol. We visited with each one for 5 days.... Andrew immediately went to us and loved to be held and rocked and walked and sung too.... he tried to suck his thumb and he made these precious sounds of air puffing when he was content.... Gracie has the biggest eyes and she is ever so curious...she was highly motivated by any treats (mostly bananas) that we brought to share with her. Then at the end of our 5 days we had to say goodbye... Andrew was spoiled by the end of our visits which was such a positive sign that we had connected... and Gracie who we were told was non-verbal was saying,"mamma and poppa and even said Dancho when she saw his picture on the computer." She ran into the van when we left anxious to go with us....

Can you imagine what they will feel... will they remember us from such a short visit? I wore my perfume every day we went... it is nothing really special but all our our orphans share later that the smell of my perfume is my smell.... one that is a positive reminder that a momma and daddy came for them.... will Dancho remember my smell... will he remember Daddy's hands that he loved to hold or our faces that he felt tenderly with his fingers? Will Gracie want to go again with us so willingly? Will she talk to us as soon as our son, Isaac who also was non verbal and had institutional autism like we think she does? He spoke fluent Russian while we were in Moscow just days after we picked him up....

Will they enjoy being clean... getting a bath? Having their teeth brushed or their hair combed? Will they love to eat and eat the foods they choose and the amounts (within reason)? How will it feel like to them to have a full "tumach" as Mya says ? If they get cold how will they feel when we put warm clothes on them or a nice cozy blanket? If they get scared or sick imagine how they will feel to have loving hands stroke them or arms to hold them.... forever if they need to be held.

Then imagine how we will feel as we leave to go get them... excited and anxious and knowing that they are ours now forever... imagine our first meeting and how the ache in our hearts will now be gone because we are together... imagine my tears as I see the precious faces of these two dear ones now with me... imagine how Joseph and Cate will feel being back in an orphanage again but, being on the giving side.. welcoming their new brother and sister . Imagine the excitement back home as we share thru our skyping and calls the new brother and sister and how they respond to us... imagine coming home on Christmas eve and the reunion of our family at Dulles airport... then imagine Christmas together celebrating the birth of Jesus and the birth of this new life into our family again....

Then imagine what it must be like for those precious ones we leave behind.... and maybe you can imagine your own journey into adoption... and imagine adopting a child who already had imagined many times in their hearts what a loving family must be like... and aches for that to be real....Can you imagine?

We now have 24 children... welcome Gracie and Andrew BRIGGS

It was such a glorious phone call this am from Toni...and when she said," Are you ready to praise the Lord?", my husband new that we legally now are the blessed parents to Gracie and Andrew.... and it is crazy around here... the reality of what just happened last nite while we "should" have been sleeping....( our kids all got up at 2 am to pray for Toni and the court hearing) has been settling in with each of us. " Mom do you realize we will be leaving in just a little over 3 weeks?", "Mom, we have so much to do." "Mom, you had better get busy with all of our Christmas stuff." Our flight itenerary has us returning on Christmas eve.... What a fantastic Christmas celebration of the new life the Lord gives to us.....

Court went thru with no issues at all... the judge approved us to be the parents of Gracie and Andrew. The birth parents do not have to be notified and we are clear to make our travel plans ( which are done already :) I can't believe I will be holding my babies forever in just a short time now.

Thank you, thank you , thank you Lord and to all who lifted us up in prayer!

Making it to court in the adoption process

Since this is National Adoption Month I have been blogging every day about an aspect of adoption... tonite I would like to share about the process towards the end of the adoption process called court.... We have experienced the court hearing now for 17 almost 19 children in 5 diff. countries... first was our son, Abraham from Mexico and his readoption in a US court room a few years later. For his Mexican court hearing we just had a lawyer representing us during the hearing and we received the new birth certificate and court decrees for his adoption thru the mail. We had brought him into the US on a medical visas ... because he had some medical needs that required urgent attention. Then later we adopted him but he never returned to Mexico. For our 6 children from Russia ( Jacob, Isaac, Lily, Anna, Mya and Josiah) we were present in the court hearing but they all were not. Jacob was taken to the judge before the hearing and spoke with her and gave his ok to being adopted as well as he wrote a letter stating this. For our 10 children from Ukraine ( Luke, Naty, Joseph, Cate, Leah, Olivia, Rachel, Tia, Jonas and Caleb) we were present for thier court hearing and so were they except for Luke. He was just 3 . Usually the judges will have the older child present during the adoption process. We have also readopted our children in the courts here in WV.. this makes it easier for them to get a US birth certificate from our state if they need one in the future. They are US citizens as soon as we land on US soil after our adoptions if we have met the USCIS criteria... which is both parents have met the child, the adoption was finalized in the country of birth and both or at least one parent is a US citizen.

It is always an emotional time when I hear the judge read the new names of our children in court... I actually cry every time. It is also a very emotional time for us when we do land back in the US after the adoption....

Well Tuesday- tomorrow is our court hearing for Andrew and Gracie ( Dancho and Diana) in Bulgaria. Tomorrow we should have 2 more precious blessings in our family.... we are not present in the hearing but represented by our lawyer, Toni. It will be at 9 am their time or 2 am our time.... please pray for this. We expect a positive outcome but, you never know what can happpen when you go before a judge... also pray that they will not require the notificiation of the birth parents ( a new law- but one that is not always being done). Our family has set our alarm clock to wake up at 2 am to pray during the time it should be happening.... so if you are up ...join us at least in spirit.

Hoping to share some good news Tuesday!

The Day of Birth -Birthdays for my children

Today was Tia's 13 b-day. We celebrated and here is a picture of her tonite with the desserts she chose for her birthday. We ate spaghetti , salad, corn and Texas toast for her dinner- she picked it.

I often think about the birth mom of my adopted children on their b-days. I wonder if they are still alive and if they are, do they have moments of wondering where their child is... or how their child is doing? I know I love birthdays... and we have lots of them. To me everyone's gets celebrated... and that person is special for the day. I think of my own bio. children, Laura Jeane, Jennifer, Molly, Mary Kate and Benjamin's birth.... I loved being pregnant, even the birth experience for me was "wonderful" about 20 minutes later if I was talking to you on the phone and holding my newborn... I loved nursing and mothering them... I have a huge and deep desire to give love to my children and almost never do I feel a lack of joy or fulfillment in being a mother..... so it makes me think if my children born from adoption mom's have thoughts about them on thier b-days. Some of our children we do not know if their birth mom is still alive... some we know are dead and some are still living....some of the children never even knew their moms and some wish they never had.... all of their life experiences though have made them who they are and the Lord will use all of them for the glory of God. I know that Tia's mom ( also Rachel and Olivia's mom - they are our only bio. children -siblings we have adopted) is dead. She died from tb and so did their grandfather.

Tonite I asked some of the kids to tell me about what it was like in the orphanage for them on their b-day....

Sometimes you don't even remember it is your b-day.

No one says happy birthday to you.

We did a group celebration for b-days for 3 months... it was not really special.

Some kids were treated differently- they got special treatment because they were the teacher's pet.

If we got money from a friend or family member the teachers would make you buy something for the groupa... and say it like this," I know you would want to help." They would make the kid do it.....

They didn't care.

I have shared this story before of Leah. She celebrated her first b-day with us 9/11/06. For a week before she got really sad... and never answered our questions of what would you like to eat for your special day and what would you like for your b-day? Finally it dawned on me why.... She had never had anyone celebrate any of her birthdays ever. Not when she was at home with a drunk and crazy mom or dad and certainly not in the orphanage. So one am about 2 days before her b-day when this came to me... I put my arm around her and said," Leah we are so glad you were born and are a part of our family... we think you are special and want you to have a special day. She let a few tears slide down her cheeks and so did I... then finally when I asked what do you want to eat? She replied... chicken with bones on it. I usually prepare boneless chicken. So Paul went out and bought so much chicken with bones we ate it all week long :) Then she went over to our computer and picked up a picture of a little guy we were praying about adopting... His name was Chaba from Hungary. She brought it over and said, " This is what I want for my b-day... for you to adopt Chaba." Now Paul and I are both crying... what a sweet and compassionate heart... she wanted a home for another orphan.. he had a heart condition and a kidney disease.

The Lord had moved in her heart... as I pray that He will encourage your heart too... help a child to celebrate their birthday... help a child to know that they are special even with a special need or not, and help a child to realize they are worth it.. So many need a family... maybe you have your heart strings pulling this way... if not maybe you can support another famiy who is adopting or share an encouragement to them or like so many of my friends and family did a few weeks ago... celebrate the birth of our new children into our family with an "Adoption Shower"... I think each new child coming into a family should be celebrated !

Welcome Home Mya

Mya came home... this is Ava trying to process what she sees.. soon she overcame her feelings and she kept running over to Mya and asking," I want to see your surgery leg." Now she won't even leave Mya alone... she is "helping" Nana to take care of Mya :)

She has done super well... way beyond any thing I thought she would be at this point. Having done a fixator surgery before I knew what to expect. We have done 63 surgeries with the 17 children we have adopted in the last 6 plus years... some of the kids have had minor surgery and some have had some pretty major surgery... we have even done open heart surgery with Luke ( and will be doing it again in the future- he needs his aortic valve replaced ) but these fixator surgeries are pretty tough in my opinion. At Sinai - the Rubin Institute there protocol for pain is an epidural for the first 2 to 3 days... the kids usually do not feel the pain of their surgery... thankfully for Mya she did not... It is such an emotional surgery for these kids and their families that it is such a blessing to have that as a pain management option.... Even so Mya has done so well. Honestly I did not think she would handle it as well as she has.... Praise God because she has....

While in the hospital she melted the hearts of everyone she came across ... even other parents of children on the floor... she has such a sweet heart that cares for others... she would offer everyone one of her lollipops or gum.. she was so full of thanks for the visit from Joseph the first day... she told everyone about the flowers he brought her and the presents... just today she said, "You know mom I love Joseph . He is so kind. " He spent lots of his money on me." She wanted my cell phone to call her siblings or daddy... when she did she would say," When I get home I will share 2 cookies and one gum with you." Then she would ask if we could stop at the store and buy them some more things... it was so important that they had something too.

Now I have shared lots about Mya these past few days... I shared that 12 other families did not want her before us... yes, maybe they did not want to take a chance on her size, head circumference, and paralysis on the l side.... but my goodness what a huge gift and blessing did they miss... she shares so much love and kindness and joy to others.... please consider the kids who no one wants... they have so much to give and just need a chance to do just that.... we were told later if we had not adopted Mya that late January she would not have made it to the summer.... the world certainly would have been a sadder place and more empty if that had happened..... Yes she will be tiny all of her life... and yes she had lots to overcome and has ...but I do not doubt for a moment she will do whatever she desires and more... may you be blessed by coming across her path one day..... thank you Lord for being with her during this surgery... we could feel the prayers and your wisdom thru the health care professionals and we are grateful.

Mya update and pictures of one amazing little girl

She has been doing great and has charmed everyone here... Mya offers everyone a lollipop and don't give her a cell phone.... I did this am and she called about 6 people while I went down to get my breakfast. Today they are reducing her epididural and getting her on some meds by mouth hopefully... if she continues this well maybe we can come home Sat. or Sun....

Her wheelchair and walker have been delivered and I have been taught her physical therapy so we are just getting the pain management under controll...

This has been way more positive so far than I expected... but these children always amaze me. Again thanks for your prayers!

update on Mya

Just a quick update about Mya and her surgery. She did wonderful and is resting very comfortably tonite at the hospital. This is all due to the epidural they use here for pain management for the patients with fixators... I love it because she feels no pain ( ladies remember child birth?) She honestly is in no pain and that is great from Mama's perspective... it stays in 2 to 3 days and helps with her getting used to the emotional part of having the fixator. First thing she said in the recovery was, "I am hungry" and then she wanted to see it...

To be honest it is alot of hardware on her tiny, little leg. I will post some pictures tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how she walks with this much metal... but knowing her she will surprise me... thanks for all your prayers we sure felt them today!

Please pray for Mya Wed....

On Monday Mya told me that the Lord spoke to her... she said he told her, "to serve others". So I caught her fixing water for her brothers and sisters who were working outside in the front garden.... what a dear and precious heart she has.

It all started with a picture of Mya....

This was our sweet Mya... the first picture was when we first met her in Russia in Dec. 2002... She was so tiny at 10 months old she only weighed 9 lbs... and she was paralyzed on her left side from her hip down. We were told it was from hip dysplasia.. we had lots of questions about that diagnosis but none about if she was ours... we had been shown a picture of her by the director of the orphanage we had used for Lily, Isaac and Jacob. We had just gotten home with them and was at the agency "showing off " them. The director asked us to help find a family for this little one... they had offered her to 12 other families and no one seemed to want her or to take a chance on her....We took one look at her and decided she was ours... just from the picture. It would not have mattered what was wrong with her or even how long she was going to live... she was ours... funny how that happens... we were smitten and it did not matter. We have never used and IA doctor to evaluate any of our children before the adoption.... it just never matters to us... and we also make the commitment for life...no turning back on that child... It just is how we view adoption... if we had given birth we would not be able to return our bio. child and so we never even think about it with our adopted children... ( no judgement to others who choose otherwise ...we just don't see disruption as an option for us ever).

So we began the process to adopt Oksana (Mya) ... our first trip was in a few weeks from that first time we met her picture.... she was everything we imagined and even more....we can not say it enough how blessed we have been with her in our lives.... you would too or have if you have met her.... she is a charmer and joy giver oh my. We are so grateful that the other 12 families did not want her.... and what a blessing they missed. Even with all of her medical challenges... she was later diagnosed with polio... she is tiny but big in spirit and love and compassion....

Wed. am she is having her surgery to be placed in an external fixator... we did this with Luke and it is a difficult surgery and months of physical therapy...but it does work well. The surgeon, Dr. Standard is hoping to grow her femur 5 cm on the l leg ... and to "lock" her knee in a position so she can walk better and without braces when she gets the fixators off.... I have no doubt she will... So please pray for her and us... it will be a difficult time to watch and have to put her through but she really wants to not have to wear the brace or shoe lifts anymore... she wants some pretty shoes and a choice... since she has 2 diff. size feet we have to buy 2 pairs of shoes and then get a 75 to 100 dollar lift put on the left one... so we did not buy her that many shoes... Praise God after all of this she will have a choice and be able to walk and run freely.....

Of course we can't leave out our Gracie Jane

We met Gracie the second week we were there after we had visited with Dancho... she was in the northern part of Bulgaria and Dancho is more southern and east. As soon as she came in to the office where we met her.... she started to touch everything with a characteristic style of twitching her middle finger over things to discover them... she loved the cookies offered ( the whole box) stuffing them all in at once and then she began to discover the room again. It was obvious to us she had not been in that room ( the director's office ) before. She has the shiniest , think black hair with deep ,dark brown eyes that are very expressive.

She had some strong preferences and displayed them to us but always allowed us to show or share a toy, or a treat. She was more cautious with our touch at first than Dancho was but soon she warmed up to us. It was a diff. emotion watching and loving her.... we think that she may have institutional autism.... which also makes it be a diff. way to love her.... she was healthy and strong in her spirit. She acts and reminds us alot of our Isaac... who also had this. They said she was non verbal.... but we were able to hear her sweet voice say, momma and papa and even Dancho when she was shown the pictures of him on our computer....

She loved to look out the window ( a second floor one). We had to watch her though because she would try to throw objects out of them... it was like she was asking us to show her the world... to take her out of this prison she found herself in.... she drew us into her world ever so slowly but we were "hooked"

Her sweet little lips would purse up and make these sounds... she would do over and over the same note on this toy...no matter which day or if it was me or Paul playing with her...just seeing her delight in a toy was a joy... often when we brought a treat in paper ...she would play with that... but that is all these poor ones were allowed to play with... the trash they found.

And then she would surprise with a "connection"... she was making silly faces at me... the more I laughed the more she loved it. She also had taken my flip flops off herself and wore them and then placed them beside her.... as she entertained me :)

Our last day was a gift... she loved to be swung by us between our legs... and got very sad when it was time for goodbye... the director took her from this room and then returned and allowed her to walk us to our van.... she took my hand and practically ran ... pulling me to come follow. Immediately she climbed in and we all could see she thought she was going with us then.... the director who seemed kind took her and held her as we drove away....

Oh our sweet and speechless one we will be coming back and my heart leaps to hear your voice again and to feel your little fingers over and thru my hair.