I shared an update about Andrew a few days ago. I guess it is best to say that he has reached a plateau of sorts in his behavior. He has gained the weight , sleeps thru the nite mostly-even if still in the guest room, he does not need to sit with all the helps or stand because he can now. He will walk holding our hands and will cruise walk holding onto the furniture. He is now at the developemental stage of 1 yr perhaps...He still has lots of challenges ahead for him and I get frustrated with this. I want so much more for him or at times any of my children "stuck" in this plateau... where we are not seeing much change towards the positive and some steps back....I want to see Andrew not eating from a bottle . I want to have him be quiet when we ask him to be . When he gets frustrated I want to see him not slap his cheek. I want him to really play and not just discovering the toy. I want him not to play with his poop or not to vomit because he likes to also play with that. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut of dispair (not for long) and I am always encouraged by the other kids.
When I am down about how little I see Andrew change then it always seems like the kids ( all of them) will just not except the reality of what we are living at the moment with him and they step up... Step up to challenge Andrew in ways that I may have done or new methods to try to reach our little guy. Now instead of him hitting himself they have taught him to clap his hands... I watched Joseph redirect Andrew yesterday and you know what Andrew clapped his hands even though Andrew was upset because he was being told no- but he clapped his hands instead of slapping his cheek. Andrew will only take a bottle from Cate, Joseph and Leah regularly... some of the others though took it upon themselves and he will now take a bottle from Anna, Rachel and Naty. He still refuses to take one from me or Paul but we don't force the issue for now. We are the boss and he knows this because we are the ones who inforce the no or allow the yes and he is so strong willed that he has chosen to react to our authority by not allowing us to feed him- What a stinker but we have found ways around his personality to get his needs met. If we are particulary frustrated about his behavior - like the poop playing it seems like that is when the kids really step up ... they offer to clean up his bed, sheets, and give Andrew a bath without us asking. Now most kids would be far away from this but ours seem to have such a strong desire to "make this work" and I have seen their gumption, their tenacity about an issue one of them is dealing with and there is no way that they will let a sibling not move towards a more positive behavior . They figure it out and suggest ways or just do it... I know I have shared what great kids they are but they really are. They have such a heart to help and want their siblilngs to overcome and move forward. Many times it is a very unselfish act of pure love that I observe.
We have had some bumps with our Ghana adoption- No show stoppers but our referrals have changed... but I was sharing with our agency social worker a few weeks ago that ,"These children are the very breath of life to me. To watch them in action with their siblings has been an amazing journey for Paul and I. I am sad that we will not be able to adopt the referrals we were given ( I will share more later) but I would be more sad or even die if I could not adopt more children." They have given us the true gift of life- living for another. They are sweet examples of the love of Christ every day and I get to be their momma and watch as they support, encourage, challenge and pray and love on each other .
7 comments:
You have amazing children and are truly blessed!
Have you ever given Andrew cornflour and water to play with, they make a great texture experience and won't harm him either. You can add little lumps of other textures or flavour to make it more interesting.
No we have not tried that with him. I have done corn starch and water with the other kids and myself- I like playing with it too. It is like magic. It sort of melts and then you can make it hard and then watch it melt again. He enjoys water- bath and swimming. Blind kids tend to normally not enjoy many textured experiences and you move slowly introducing them ...That is why when he is fed we squeeze some food out on his tray and he enjoys the slurping experience- that is how he jumped to making himself vomit so he can slurp in his hand- totally gross but he enjoys it :( We are trying to discourage that one.
Thanks for the suggestions though.
Sweet that your children want to help~ they were probably of great comfort to other children in their respective orphanages. Many times, in my teaching, I've watched little ones show compassion and it melts my heart. i told one mom about her child's compassion to another that was in foster care due to abuse. her mom thanked me for telling her that and teared up. don't we love to hear about and see our children doing good for others. :)
What wonderful children. The Lord has given them such servant's hearts. Many hands make difficult times lighter."
I pray that Andrew Pushes PAST this plateau and soars!
It is inspiring to read how compassionate your children are; it encourages me continue to have hope our children can overcome the social "norms" in our society of siblings being so self-focused and have true compassion for eachother. God bless, Jennifer
Sorry if you've already explained this in your blog, but does Andrew get therapeutic services? I would recommend Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) as it breaks down learning new skills into smaller components, taught in a highly structured manner. Kids learn how to learn. It has been highly effective with kids with autism (and Andrew certainly has traits even if only because of deprivation)- it is increasingly recommended for children with other special needs. He's a cutie- Good luck.
JLH114- thanks for the suggestions. I googled and saved it for me to research it more. I just quickly went over a few and one video. Andrew is not even functioning yet at any of the levels I saw or read.. I think we do this already with what we do with him.The key to any success actually with any of our kids is "finding" what motivates them I believe. We are still trying to find his internal controls and pleasure and slowly move him towards more appropriate behavior using them. It is a long process though. I do not feel he is or we are ready for any outside intervention just yet. I am grateful to you for the suggestion and will go over what I can find... again thanks for the information.
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