We are doing things a bit diff. this year for our Christmas

I am actually at my daughter, Jenn's house visiting her family for our Christmas... since we won't be able to get together before or during... I decided to make a quick trip down with Mya, Cate,Leah and Isasc. We have a a great visit as always! This year for Christmas we are doing something a bit different... we are trying to encourage being together over gifts. So for each grandchild we are hoping to take them out and let them choose a gift and then we get ice cream or dinner at McDonalds. So I took out Ezra and Ella today and they chose their gifts from Nana and Paw Paw. Now they are 2 and 4 yrs... Jenn decided they could choose to open one now and keep one for Christmas am.. We are also doing this with our kids. They have each gotten a certain amount to pick out or can choose the whole amount ... I have already done stocking gifts and I put the gifts in a big bag, one for each child. It is a holiday bag that hold all of their gifts... instead of wrapping. ( we came up with this idea last year and it went over well)... Since we are traveling in a little over a week and come home Christmas eve this is what we came up with... I think though from what we have seen so far we may keep this tradition. The kids have loved it and it is teaching them about budgeting.... and we spend time doing it together. Paul took the older boys ... they went to dinner and spent the evening picking out their gifts...

We have done Christmas gifts diff. ways but so far I am liking this idea.. also the day of Christmas will be simple. Since we most likely will get home and thru customs... at midnite if the flight is on time keeping things simple sounds best... and just celebrating being together will be the best gift we can give each other..and the best presents will be in our arms.... Gracie and Andrew :)

Our Cate is 17 today...

She has been home 4 yrs Dec. 5. We helped her celebrate her 13th birthday in Ukraine 4 yrs ago and she reminded us of this tonite... "Do you remember 4 yrs ago at this time we were eating my birthday cake?" She is also one that others might say we took a chance on adopting... an older child, a teenager who grew up her whole life in the orphanage... but you know what we sure are glad we did.... because she is a beautiful , sincere, deeply loyal and caring young lady... who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him with her life.

She was born to a 13 yr old mom and given up at birth. She has a strong personality, a leader and giver and natural server. When we adopted her the teachers and director said to work her hard... that she loves to work in the garden, carpentry, cleaning . We thought that was an odd comment to say to us but that is how they treated her.... we picked her up in the am one day on our visits and she had taken the huge tapestry rug down from the wall that was in their room... they waited until we brought her back at nite for her to put it back up... now she can work and work hard but she is so much more than they gave her credit ... because they had her work all the time she was not very strong with her school work. She did not know her times tables or how to multiple simple math problems. She has a very loud voice when she wants to and is sort of bossy well lots bossy... but actually that has been one of her strengths...

Now she has come up to grade level in math and reads well too. She can write but still struggles in this area. When Mary Kate had Ava Cate learned about another part of herself... she is a huge nurturer... she loves babies and children and is very gentle and a natural mothering type to them. She is also my right hand person... I can always depend on her to make sure things are done at home if I am gone... she would make a great nurse... she anticipates before someone needs something... she is sensitive to others needs and wants to help others. She can be crazy and goofy but she is also the one who volunteers to take part in an activity... she is loved by the leaders in her youth group as well as her friends. This story shows alot about her personality... once on a retreat one of the leaders lost their cell phone... All the other girls sat in the car but Cate is the one who is doing... helping to find it. She will carry all the luggage and pack it and orgainize others... she loves music and is on the drama team at church. She is an out there personality but is happy also being a behind the scenes type too.

Her transition into the family was easy... she had a teacher whom she loved and she felt loved by her so we are grateful for her ability to attach. She is deeply attached to her family and will help other siblings with their needs or behavior much like Joseph does.. Actually they are from the same orphanage and adopted at the same time with Leah and Joseph... but not bio. siblings.

Sure she was a teenager with a past and even the director did not want us to adopt her with Joseph because they did not get along well in the orphanage setting... but now you would never know that... they are fiercely attached to each other and would defend each other to anyone who hurt or challenged their sibling... they are a team on many positive activities... it was them who came up with the idea and put most of our adoption shower together... they are also going with us when we pick up Gracie and Andrew. It should be a meaningful trip for both of them. She has shared in church and at a conference I spoke at about her desire for others to adopt older, teens. She knows what it is like for them back in Ukraine. So if you are considering adoption and want to speak to her or us about older or teens email us... we would love to encourage anyone to at least open their heart to this as a possibility...

In the picture of her hugging me... that was tonite after she opened her presents and we were going to eat her cheesecake.. she came over to me and thanked me and just wanted to hug... then her tears flowed... she is such a sensitive one... I just love her!

Dogs sure help love our kids... and that helps the kids to learn to love

We used to have 5 dogs but in the last 2 yrs we lost our beloved Levi ( lab/australian shepherd) and sweet little Abbie ( a very mini dashaund) at Christmas. Amazingly our Annie (golden retriver) the oldest of the bunch who is 16 yrs made it thru last winter... we do not think she will make it to Christmas because we have seen her decline in the last few days... we also have Katy ( choc. lab) who is also old and not well and Willi ( a white lab- litter mate of Levi). We love our dogs and I guess you could say we are "dog" people.... Paul and I both have always loved animals but especially dogs. We have very prolific guppies ( fish) and our parakeets even breed a few yrs ago . Olivia has a hampster... and that is the range of our pets for now. We have had a horse, frogs, turtles, liazards, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits and 2 chickens. Where we live now we can't have some of the farm animals but a farm would be nice for the kids.

I wanted to share how much having pets and especially for us our dogs add so much to our family. They help with the transitions of our adopted children too. Our kids learn responsiblity by taking care of our pets but, they also learn alot about loyalty and love from them. You will often find many of them laying on one of the dogs or sharing their blanket or pillow with them while watching tv...

We watched Molly and Mike's puppies for a few days this week and you can see how much the kids loved taking care of Roxy and Bella... of course we have been asked a zillion times for another puppy but , we have said after Annie and Katy die we might...

Here are some happy pictures of the kids with their dogs... who unconditionally love them no matter what... that is a kind of love that many orphans have never experienced. Watching our children love and be gentle with the dogs is very gratifying...

Be Still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I don't know what it is like at your home but, at ours it is always busy, noisy and active. It seems like the loudest time is when we call everyone to dinner... the kids are excited, hungry and talking. They settle down when we give thanks and a peace settles for a moment as we take time to thank the Lord for our day and food. We have other times of quiet and stillness.. during times of school, when we do family devotions and pray and at nite when they have gone to bed...There is such power and our hearts are touched deeply when there is stillness. Tears have been shed and children have been held and hearts have opened up within this time of stillness....

Last nite when I asked the kids about their first mom... at first they all talked and the room was full of lots of sharing and then a stillness came after we all settled down with their thoughts of life before they came home.... we knew that with everything in our past .. God is still God, and He can use our life for a purpose if we choose to allow Him to. When we cease focusing on ourselves, there is, " the peace of God which transcends all understanding"-Phil. 4:7 ; "quietness and trust" Isa. 30:15, which is the source of all strength ; a "great peace" that will never "make them stumble" Ps. 119:165; and a deep rest, which the world can never give nor take away. Deep within the center of the soul is a chamber of peace where God lives and where, if we will enter it and quiet all the sounds, we can hear His "gentle whisper" 1 Kings 19:12

Even in the fastest wheel that is turning, if you look at the center, where the axle is found, there is no movement at all. And even in the busiest life, there is a place where we may dwell alone with God in eternal stillness.

There is only one way to know God : "Be still, and know." "The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him" Hab. 2:20

Sometimes we all have walked under starless skies that have dripped darkness like a drenching rain. We have despaired from the lack of light from the Son. The gloomy darkness has loomed above us as if it would last forever... and from that dark there seemed to be no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts.

For our adopted children they have experienced such darkness and despair... but we as their parents hope to give them the chance to find the still small voice of the Lord... to be able to say back to the Lord themselves, "Your soft whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our brusied and bleeding souls than any winds that blew across our life before. It was your "gentle whisper" that spoke to us. We were listening and we heard You, and then we looked and saw Your face, which was radiant with the light of Your love. And when we heard Your voice and saw Your face, new life returned to us, just as life returns to withered blossoms that drink the summer rain. Paul and I have seen many of our children's faces express this and it has been very life giving to us to be a part of helping our older kids overcome their past and look with hope to the future.

Momma the Sweetest Sound I know

Today we spent the whole day cooking and baking for our Thanksgiving feast... it was fun and I sure enjoyed the kids. We had lots of time to talk and share and I heard them say mom or momma so many times today. It got me thinking about what it is like for my children who had a mom before me to now have a second mom. So tonite I asked all my children who could remember their first mom to tell me a little about her. These are a collection of their memories bad and good of their mom:

She had brown hair. I remember when I would fall asleep she would lay with me and leave after I went to sleep.

I don't really remember my mom. I can't remember what she looked like ( this was by a daughter who was old enough to). I had my mom's sister come and visit me after my mom died and I was in the orphanage. The caregiver told her not to come back because I called her mom.... but, I did remember her.

I remember one time trying to wake her up but she was drunk and would not wake up.

She had brown reddish hair, long and straight, green eyes and she smiled like Olivia. She helped us with our school work. She was a good cook. One of my favorites was sugar candy. She worked in a bakery. Then this daughter told me a story about a shelf in her home and this is how she described it," It's kind of like ours." My heart leapt when I heard her say it that way because I knew that she now had some ownership to her new home by saying the word," ours".

The 3 sisters described loving when their mom made kasha, a pea and barley soup and perogies. There mom also had a vegtable garden. They described some not positive things about bad guys trying to break in to their house and mom not letting them in.... and one broke glass and there was blood all around. They also described a Red House - which sounded like a drug house and a place where bad things happened to girls like rape... the it was mentioned, " They killed dad."

Red hair and she worked on a farm. The farmer was rich. She gave me money.

Finally one of my daughters had nothing at all positive to say about her mom. She was very scary. She always was the one to start the fights with my dad. She would grab me and throw me down.. she described many other fights and crying and then running to her sisters.

I also asked them what it was like to have a second mom... all were genuinely positive responses... and one said," I love my second mom". I told him I knew that he loved me... becasue when my own daddy died last May... he would not leave me alone... he stood by me all the time for a month afterwards. He would rub my back and my arm. When I layed down to nap on the couch... he brought his toy cars over to play right by me.

What is it like to call someone momma , someone who did not give birth to you? I got one answer that said, " I love it here and would not want to go back to that." This just shows you how resislient these children are. Some of them have had very negative family experiences and I even shared with them how much they all had overcome... these are the most compasionate children/people I know. They are so attached to their new family and we are to them... they love spending time with me their momma in the kitchen cooking and baking for Thanksgiving. I heard Leah say," When I get married and leave here I will always come back for Thanksgiving to eat momma's food." Once on a talk show we were asked how do we love so many... honestly one way I do is to cook and bake for them. They get so excited and our meal is enjoyed ... not so much because I am a good cook but just the fellowship that we all share.... and now with these dear ones we are making memories... happy ones for them to cherish the rest of their lives.

It is so rewarding and I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for the opportunity for all of my children to call me momma. As I shared previously... I love being a momma to all of my kids.

Just some ramblings and a Joseph update

We leave in only 16 more days... we will be together with our 2 beloved babies in Bulgaria very soon. We went over our pictures once again for the millonth time and we listened to several of our videos again... it sure makes us anxious and excited for our reunion... we left them July 31 and July 24... it has been a long time and we are almost there. Lots has happened during our waiting time... besides the paperwork for the adoption and all the signatures and wait times... we have had a wedding ( Mary Kate and Keith were married). We went to the beach for their wedding and our vacation. We started school and it has been going very well... lots of birthdays celebrated, Halloween and soon Thanksgiving as well....Mya's surgery and that is going very well too... ( we had our first post op Monday... and our pt is great, her leg had consiladated some because of some slack in the adjustment bar... but after me doing 12 turns in 2 hrs there- which was 4 days worth.. her femur seperated and Dr. Standard was very pleased. Otherwise she would have had outpatient surgery to once again break the femur) .... the kids are so excited for us to bring them home. They hated our last trip because we did not bring them home :) Our hearts have ached deeply for them and it is so hard to believe it is almost here when we will be forever together. It is so true that absence makes our hearts grow fonder....I am amazed at how deeply we all have bonded with them .. Paul and I after only spending 5 days with each one and the kids at home never having met them... and only having the pictures and videos to watch.

I place their pictures everywhere .. around the house , in our bathrooms even... and on the dash of our cars and vans.... this way we all feel that they have been with us in a way....

On another side... we appreciated your suggestions and concern for Joseph not being able to travel with us.... we prayed and talked alot over the weekend and we decided to call his doctor and see if he would support by a letter and documents for Joseph to take a medical leave of absence thru FMLA... and as soon as his doctor signs the last forms it got approved for him to travel with us.... his doctor graciously wrote the letter and Joseph is dropping off the forms Wed... I can't tell you how happy he was today. So was momma. Thank you for your prayers and suggestions. More on this later... but also thank you to Stacy the HR person at his store who cared about this... she was wonderful!

Adoption Thoughts from the Silent Partner......

While I have found my life to be average in many ways, tonight is another first.....My first blog entry....and it would figure that the subject that I would blog on first would be my anything but average......my family; particularly the 'grafted in' branches......kids...adopted kids...

This is a bit strange for me....I really don't know who the audience is for this writing....I don't feel like I am addressing it to anybody in particular (which is really weird for me, a person who deals with hundreds of emails and messages each day; all to specific individuals)....but I do feel challenged to share some of my heart for adoption....and while I didn't exactly volunteer to blab on about my feelings (not exactly a strength of mine), I honestly do look forward to what my heart will bear out thru this keyboard.

So November is National Adoption month......it's great to have some special attention....Adoption is a very impacting subject..one filled with great variety of emotions......it is truly deserving of having a month of 'recognition'....It's one of those subjects that almost everybody agrees is a good thing.....but like so many things in life, after the spotlight moves on the subject fades into darkness....too true for so many childrens lives. I find the parallel to Religon very similar.....when people are watching, many wear the religon mask....but it is when nobody is watching that you can tell what is really in someones nature..in their heart....same with adoption....many people wear the mask of 'caring' about children and adoption...but when it comes to 'doing', that is another thing....

Kids.....kids are kids.....yes, Iknow that kids (like adults) too often want what they can't have, more of this and less of that, always want to be someone else, be taller, shorter, diff eyes or hair (especially the tweens and teens), but kids mainly want to be kids.....and kids should be allowed to be kids......kids should get the nurturing, love and attention that are so needed for a full life; from belonging to a family that loves them unconditionally....but this just isn't the case with so many orphans...

It is real joy to me to see kids being kids.....infants discovering everything around them (and learning to control their world at such an early age), toddlers starting to venture out, elementary with an innocence and carefre abandon, teens with all the energy and challenges....young adult kids who can't wait to be on their own, and yet love keeping that path open to your home....every age has different challenges....and opportunities...and to imagine having all of that under one roof; that's the Briggs family/home.......I never really pictured this as my life as I was growing up; but I could never picture any other life but this now....

And that is so cool....people ask why we do it, adopt so many kids.....it isn't a simple answer, yet it really is....we do it cuz we love being around kids....we love helping kids w no chance to have a chance.....we love watching the kids develop (ok, so some days are more fun 'watching' than others)....I can't explain the feeling I get when I look in the rear view mirror and see all those 'lives' buckled in...and making noise of course....I can't explain how I feel when I hear my kids call me daddy....I can't explain how I love to explain things (most of the times...in my patient moods) to my boys; how to paint a wall, how to install a door knob, how to wash a car, how to throw a football...and to be a daddy to my girls; to tease and to be teased....to try and show all my kids that God has a plan for their lives and we are so excited to be a part of it...and excited for them to discover it.

Jeane and I have been blessed with 5 wonderful bio kids...It has been incredible to watch them from birth to where the are now; remembering being full of so much 'unknown' as we started our family...and so much joy now to see where and who they are; all of them.....and our choice to 'refill the empty nest' reflects the core of our relationship; to follow where Christ calls us...We are also so richly blessed to have the 19 adopted kids.....we've been filled over and over with a lot of 'unknown'...but time and time again God has showed himself faithful....we don't adopt because it is easy or just feels good, it is our heart, our calling...I've shared that having all these kids isn't easy in many ways, but when you know you are doing what you are supposed to be doing there is a peace in the midst of all the pressure.

Adoption.....it is a part of true religon that God finds worthy.....and like any parenting it makes you realize your limitations and need for extra strength/patience/grace/mercy/energy that comes from a heavenly source....and for me, the real pull to adopt is to make a difference in life; a childs life..I've been a part of and surrounded by Corporate life; I've had postion and titles and watched many many people around me talk about their investments.......having walked the halls in many orphanages and seen the faces of counltess orphans, I remember them.....and I pray that more of them find families and become former orphans....

Adoption.....just do it.