Saturday, December 6, 2014

Some of my thoughts about Ferguson,MO, NY and praying for peace

I am posting in my blog some of my thoughts and reactions. I am not interested in dialogue on fb or here. If you wish to comment and it is negative than I will delete . If you wish to have a conversation with me I would welcome it thru my personal email or message....My husband and I live our lives as proof of our love for all people . God made us all and all life life should be valued - babies in the womb, black, white, disabled, and not . We are grateful for the service that the police have provided in our lives and we hate the negative publicity and how undervalued they must feel. So we as a family want to say - Thank you to all police officers who serve the public and risk their lives daily for us. 



Being the momma to 10 almost 14 African American children and 26 white children from multiple countries, and I have a son in a police academy, I have to say a few things :  First I am saddened anytime I hear of a death because I believe all life is valued and precious . Second I also believe and have experienced some prejudiced about some of my children ( not all because of their color but often because of their disability ). Third I am sickened by all the unrest I watch that is violent, and disruptive to other innocent people and their business or ability to travel in their communities. I have read on fb many other adoptive moms who I would disagree with their opinion about what is happening in our country....The nite the Ferguson grand jury case was announced we watched and we watched the second nite...during our family time of Bible and devotions we talked about all of this and here is what we came to think...and we still believe this after watching both videos of the NY incident. First as this article shares you must obey the authority that is there in your life. Whether it be your parents, a teacher, a coach or a police officer. You be respectful to authority even if they are not to you. Understanding this will make your life better in the long run. Even if you are not treated fairly. We talk thru this one concept constantly with our kids. When I leave and one older sibling is left in charge all the kids must obey them even if they think they are being treated wrong or unfairly. They also must be respectful...then when I return we will deal with this and sometimes the younger children were correct and the authority ( in this case their older sibling ) was wrong. It would be the same with any other authority in their lives. After the time or incident we will help our children go thru what happened and if it was something that was wrong we would deal with it in the appropriate manner...even if it means going to see a lawyer, or the police. I speak from experience too but that is all I will share.

Now we also try to teach our children a positive way to handle their emotions...especially their anger . Watching the news lately and even some of our leaders has been the best worst example of how to behave when you feel you have been wronged...no matter what the situation may be. I am a rebel by heart and will do things the opposite way or if you tell me it can't happen I will do my best to prove you wrong...so I have that deep within in me. No time have I ever been successful getting my way or my message heard by acting in a violent or abusive way to any authority I have had in my life. It harms my message or cause even more if I behave that way. So watching the news and all the people react to what appears to be some mistakes that have cost these lives has me quietly seething and angry. I have seen what every one else has watched and I don't get some of the remarks or comments I have read. I was not there and even those witnesses who were more on the side of the victim changed their story when they testified before the grand jury? I watched the 2 NY videos and I also don't see what some others saw. I did wonder why so many officers and people and the EMT did not start CPR because it is hard for me to not react to emergencies if I am out I am one who steps in...I am just wired that way. Even a black female police officer in the video did not . The responses I heard to the crowd asking were, " He is breathing and has a pulse ". You don't usually start CPR when that is the case. I have not heard anything about the time of death to help me understand this better... but if the video is correct and what I heard it makes sense . Sadly none of our conjectures or wondering will bring back this life.

I also never hear much about what these people ( the victims) were doing to cause police to intervene the moments before these tragedies. The Ferguson yg man had just robbed a convenience store , manhandled the clerk on his way out. He did not obey the officers command and resisted arrest...and according to witness even tried to assault the officer and remove the gun...hummm if any of my kids were in that situation I would not blame the officer totally for his behavior as the parents and many of this community have. The yg man should be held responsible and his choices that day contributed to his own death....I do feel sorry for the police officer and his family because I do feel he is being used as a scapegoat. I don't see how this man with a good record all the 10 yrs with the dept...never had any issues with harassment brought against him nor even once ever drew his gun before this has to suffer. He also has to relive that moment over and over...the day he took a life doing his job.

The other gentleman, was doing an illegal activity that the shop owners said he did often and they were upset about. The shop owners complained and the police show up to deal with the man who was not paying sales tax like the shop owners do for selling cigarettes and he was taking away some of their revenue....He was a big man and not obeying the police officers. My kids even saw that...which I don't understand why a CNN legal analyst minimized the crime...It was a crime and the man behaved in a way that help to contribute to his death. Doing something wrong is wrong...and resisting the authority of a police officer is wrong...That is why we teach our kids - You will lose if you don't obey the authority of a police officer. The consequences of your choices and how you behave could be just as deadly as it was for these people...even the 12 year old boy at the park who was pretending to shoot people and not listening the the command of the police officer. Many shooters in school have been this age and if they are going to "act" bad how can one blame a police officer for reacting to this threat ?

Having said all of the above and expecting some negative comments ...I do think it is a good thing to look at some of the issues these past shootings have brought up. We have taught all of our children ( black or white , disabled or "normal" ) to obey the authority of a police officer. It just can't be all about race to us. I don't think the violent protests and stopping of traffic, burning police cars and businesses is the way to go about it. For our family it is not just about a race issue. This common core sense of obeying your authority , not causing the need for an officer to be in your life ( a crime ) , and dealing with your anger and pain in positive manners is how our family will choose to see these past police confrontations.... and if there is a mistake we forgive. I can't imagine the pain the families who lose loved ones in this way must feel...first the loss, then all the media attention and then the criminal background and not so positive lives of their loved ones come out. Praying for peace here.

Here is a link to an article I like...especially his first 3 things listed. http://www.policeone.com/use-of-force/articles/7526699-How-cops-can-help-citizens-better-understand-police-use-of-force/

4 comments:

Lisa said...

Well said

David&Monica said...

Jeanne, I live about 20 minutes from Ferguson. I have been following your blog ever since we adopted Garrett from Ukraine and you extended fabulous guidance to us for his cleft palate.

Your write-up is the most spot on. With all the journalism our town has been floaded with - no else focuses on obedience, it is just assumed that no one is required to be obedient and respectful any more. Sad

Monica

mommajeane said...

Thank you Monica, I found your comment compelling. So sorry for your community . Thanks for sharing your thoughts .

Christine said...

I agree with you. Those men DID contribute to their own deaths. Now many families of black boys are teaching them to be afraid of the police. They should be taught to respect the police and obey the law.