Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Tears mean you were loved...loved deeply and valued





















There have been many tears shed the past 2 weeks...for a life that was gone at only 8 months old... For a little one who was born with no legs and arms....Who was abandoned by his birth family for this reason and the belief that he was evil, a spirit child, not valued.

From the moment we heard of you , Daddy and I were smitten ...We had not even met you yet but we agreed to drive hours to hold you, to smell your baby sweetness and take in all your newborn newness you were offering to us. Yes, you are our 35th child - born deep into our hearts and soul by the Giver of Life. We loved you ....

We had to leave you there and begin the process of your adoption...which moved slowly. We learned of another precious one, born without feet and decided to adopt both of you together. I came back in October to pick up your " aunt and uncle" , our grand babies, Lucy and Lucas. You got to meet your sister, Mary Kate and her husband , Keith. They loved you both as well. We had court for you both...both are our sons now ...both have our last name Briggs.

I visited you with your older brother, Joseph in March and you were doing well. Your personality was showing as were 2 new teeth coming in. It was hard to leave you then but it was pure sweetness holding you and John David in my arms. If I had known what was going to happen I would not have let you go.........

Then we get notice that you were dehydrated from diarrhea and they were taking you to the hospital/clinic in your village. We asked for prayers as we were told they could not start an IV because of your missing limbs. They attempted to start an IV in your head ( which is a common procedure here) but they had never done an IV like that ....and they botched it and you are now gone.... It hurts me to even write the why of your death....It hurts because it was so tragic and unnecessary. When it is quiet in my life I wonder....Were you given the same treatment as if you had your limbs ... as if you were wanted and valued by your birth family....Or were you just an orphan, left to die , an evil child, abandoned in the bush anyway ?

We have made our "Jabin" garden .... It is a sweet place of beauty and peace in the midst of our family life....close to our house in the backyard where all the children play. I know where you play now...I know who is playing with you and you are loved .

One of the meanings of your name is , " God created, God has built ". One verse suggested Psalm 139 : 13-14 as a verse for your name. For you created my inmost being ; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made ; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Yes, we believe the Lord created you. He knew you before we did in your mother's womb. You were perfect.

I love the verses that follow as well - My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

You lived, your were deeply loved , you were valued and we have cried tears for your life that is now gone from our life here on this earth. We have a peace and yes a joy remembering your sweetness, your little smile, your sucking on my finger. Remember also that we know where you are now - with Jesus . One day hopefully all your very large family will see you there.

6 comments:

Sherry Hommel said...

Just beautiful!!!

Montague said...

I'm so sorry you have lost your son! We are grieving with your family. (((Hugs)))

Becky said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family for the loss of your beautiful little son. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Carolyn said...

I'm so sorry for you loss. What a beautiful baby!
Carolyn

Emily said...

Oh! I am so very sorry. My heart aches for you. Such a precious little soul he was.

~*~Janelle~*~ said...

I am so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful child. Praise God that he is now whole and perfected and with his Heavenly Father. One day you will be able to hold him again and love him with a pure love.

I believe we're locals to your family, I'd love if you would contact me via my email on my profile...we're new(ish) to the area and would love to meet another large family, although we "only" have 8 children!