Did you ever have a day where you have been blessed and you do not want the day to end....

Today has been that sort of day for me.... We went to church and we have been given a gift of a body of believers who love the Lord and serve Him . We hear the Bible preached in a life giving way and all of our very large family are ministered to.... Then it was home and Joseph, Leah, Olivia and myself went to visit my dad at the rehab. home he has been in now for over 2 weeks after having left the hospital stay of almost that amount of time. It has been a difficult holiday season but also a precious one too. It has been difficult watching my "daddy" become so ill and so critically depressed because of his life that will soon end . He is 87 and has congestive heart failure, ulcers on the whole bottom of his legs that have caused him to initially be hospitalized because they thought he had MRSA ( he did not)... It is about an hour and a half drive to get to visit him and my 2 brothers have been managing most of his care because they live closer to him. My dad will no longer be able to live alone and so we have to decide what to do next for him.. We will not put him in nursing home- I have worked in some of the best and to be honest they are a horrible place to end your life . Even with the "best" of care. I do not really desire to share what has gone on for my dad at this facility in just the short 2 weeks he's been there but it has been a passive sort of hell for us to watch .... I have struggled with many issues since all of this and it was causing me not to sleep.... I love my dad very much and want to be there for him. However I can't be down there all the time... I journal and have now for 25 yrs... if you read my journals they contain some daily happenings but mostly my encounters with my Lord and Savior. They are filled with prayers and scriptures of encouragement and challenges. Lately I have asked and been given many..... but still I struggled. We have also been praying about adopting another child.... a little boy who is blind in Bulgaria. We have no money to do this adoption but we never have... and the Lord has always provided. Then you add the emotions of caring for my dad and wanting to adopt Dancho. We have been given some encouragement to proceed with his adoption..

I also was wondering about my dad's salvation. For me this is an issue that has caused great stress and loss of sleep. I know my mom gave her life to the Lord and I have a peace about her in heaven . My dad I was not sure about... If we can ever be a judge of anothers salvation- This is not what I was desiring to do. Just an encouragement that he has had a relationship with the Lord.

Well today when we got to my dad... I knew the Lord was present... there was something different. We were there for 4 hrs and had a wonderful visit. He looks better and his legs are not draining and his spirits were more positive. Friends of ours and my dad came- the Luthers. I can not share enough about what a gift this family has been to ours thru the yrs.. for without this relationship we never would have been encouraged to adopt from Russia in the first place.... they were the ones who were with my mom when she died. They are just strong and grounded , Christian friends ... We were talking with my dad and Luther asked him if he was saved and my dad said yes and shared how he was baptized at the Baptist church in Rainelle, WV... I knew he had once been an elder in that church but to be honest he had gotten so bitter I was not sure if he had a personal relationship with Jesus. His bitterness came from years of watching the negative , hurtful behavior of christians in the churches he had attended.... God revealed to me that my precious dad had given his life to the Lord but because of the root of bitterness that came and grew like cancer it was hard to see.... I hope and pray for any of you reading this blog that you do know the Lord in a real and personal way and if you too have some bitterness to allow the Lord to heal your heart and pain. It has been sad and now very positive to see how the Lord has worked thru my father's life. We also talked about his care after he leaves the rehab. facility.... He may come to live with us and he may live at his home with my brother taking care of him or we share this priviledge.... I will have him some and Johnny will.

Now my blessing came in finding out that he is indeed saved... I have the joy and peace knowing this... Also my striving for working things out was given over to the Lord and now I am actually excited to see how the Lord is going to put all of this together... I know He will... and I will be obedient to whatever He calls us too.... I am also rejoicing in the encouragement all the children and Paul give to me to want to take care of grandad as well as to adopt Dancho. It is amazing to me their hearts for another child....

Here is my daddy with the last smile I have seen on his face in a long time... this was taken on Christmas day as we were visiting him . We had brought Abraham's piano and sang and danced for him... He loves children and it is where first I learned to love a child.... I have the best daddy ...because he was and is my daddy it has been easy for me to respond to my Lord. Thank you Jesus for my father. Please pray for him to have peace and rest and comfort.