Mary Kate's story

I have been wanting to share her story on this for awhile.... today after MK asked me to come look at Ava and Keith I realized I needed to. Watching Keith love this little girl and Ava responding to his love has been a wonderful gift. When someone doubts the promises of God and finds it hard to trust His will and His plan for their life I hope that my daughter's story is an encouragement. Keith is not the bio. father of Ava however it is amazing how much he resembles the bio. dad and so how natural for anyone to think that she is biologically his... after watching him there would be no doubt.

Mary Kate met the b. dad ( that is how I will refer to him and not by his name) at a church we used to attend. He had just gotten home from a drug rehab. experience called Teen Challenge in Florida. He had been there about 18 months. She met him at the youth group while watching the Super Bowl. A protocol for us has always been to be a part of our children's lives including when they wanted to "date-court". She was almost 17 and this was her first person she wanted to talk with and begin to "court". He had lots of red flags like the previous Teen Challenge but we were willing to give him a chance. We met him for breakfast and Paul and I talked about the perameters that we had for their relationship and why we wanted them . They included : no one on one dating (group outings), spend lots of time with the family, do things in groups, no physical contact.... It went ok for a few months and then we eased our ability and restrictions some as we got to know him. He went on vacation with us and seemed to like the other siblings and they liked him..... that was another prerequisisit. We knew his family from church but I can not say we were totally convinced they were on the same page as us as far as watching them or helping them... we know now in hindsite they were not... at the time too the mom was dealing with cancer and she has since died . Anyway Mary Kate's personality began to change... she started to question many things that she had been raised with like her faith, her values and her family.... We later learned that there was some physical and emotional abuse going on that we were not aware of until it was too late.... She was irritable, lying and had a very hateful personality. Her language changed... we started to hear more cussing and just hateful comments.... Finally the bdad wanted to break up... We were all for this since they now had shared that they had gotten involved physically. Mary Kate was devastated.... such wisdom in waiting and doing it the Lord's way. Her heart was broken and all over a yg. man who was beginning another spiral downward into hell. He started smoking, and drinking and late nite partying. He was fired from his job and has continued to struggle to hold down a job. Mk was deceived by his manipulations and controlling temper. We now think that he is bipolar.. he had some mood swings and changed his personality like we have never seen a person do. It was difficult to watch our daughter go thru this time but there was nothing we could do but pray.... eventually he decided he wanted to have the relationship and that is when she got pregnant. In came at no surprise to us that she was pregnant... she was due in late Jan. of 2007. I remember holding my daughter as she was crying and wondering how she was going to do this.... she knew in her heart what the bdad was really like and so over some months of the pregnancy she was able to free herself from his control and anger. She started to experience health issues in her 4 month... high blood pressure and some heart issues. I am sure all related to the stress of this negative relationship. All along she lived with us... He would threaten that he was going to take the baby to Mexico and many other things. Mk was afraid and struggling.... she worked almost up to the week she had Ava. She had very swollen legs, feet and hands and high blood pressure-- they ended up inducing her labor early because of pre-eclampsia. She had a difficult labor and delivery. Her epidural did not work on 2 attemps from the anesthiologist and her IV came out during the delivery so they had no way to give her anything until they got another IV started. She had some surgery done at the birth (necessary for the baby to be able to get out)without any pain meds... it was a terrible time but in just a few minutes our precious Ava was born and we all forgot some of that as we ooed and ahhed over her. Jenn, Molly and I were at the birth to help... it had been decided not to contact the bdad out of fear of how he would react with his previous threats. Security was aware so if he showed up they were prepared. She had chosen a diff. state and it was further away from him . Ava was born on Paul's b-day Jan. 5. She was healthy and we brought her home 3 days later because of some complications from MK's pre-eclampsia. We had our pastor call the bdad and his family . When he came over we had some other people there in case he got out of hand. He did not ... His parents could not come over because his mom was very ill with her cancer and was bedridden. So MK and I went to her after a week. We did not feel it was safe for her to be by her self with the bdad and for awhile he had to visit her at our home or she would go with one of us.... He did little wanting to anyway so it was managable. He did continue to threaten MK but in a passive way and has for well over 8 months not seen the baby.... We built an addition for MK and Ava and that has worked out well... we all love and care for her and have tried to support MK in every way. She was struggling for a long time and felt how could another man ever love her and Ava ( another man's child). She also struggled with her faith... she had been beaten up emotionally and spiritually by this man that she did not feel the Lord cared about her. It has been a slow healing process where she has learned to trust the Lord again. Months before we were to travel to Ukraine she started to seek Him again with all her heart. She will be the first to tell you it was then that she knows the Lord was able to work with her calloused and stone heart....She made the choice to step out in faith once again. We could see the light of the Lord's love in her eyes beginning to shine. While in Ukraine she was the one who encouraged us the most... then Keith came into her life. She began attending our church IBC while we were gone the 4 weeks for the adoption. She was going to the yg. adult class and she met this man whose family had 11 children and they homeschooled too. Sunday evenings Keith and his brothers would come over and play with all the kids and visit . The week that we came home they decided to begin to "date-court". We love this yg. man, Keith and are very grateful to the Lord for bringing him to MK and Ava. He is a godly yg. man who loves the Lord and loves our daughter and grandaughter... He delights in them. Those are the 2 things we have always desired in a spouse for our children-- one that they love the Lord and two that they adore our child. They have so much in common and share so many of the same values ( he comes from a lg. family and they homeschool). We actually knew them before from a homeschool group... we feel blessed to be meshing our families together and look forward to the future. It is not often that so many family connections mesh as this one has... that has to be the Lord. I know that Mary Kate feels very much that the Lord loves her and really would say when she began to trust in His love and provision ( the 2 months before we left for Ukraine) then He was able to bless her choices and her life. Her heart of stone has once again softened and is pliable to the Lord's will.

After I saw this ... I wanted to share how special it is for us to watch and see how the Lord has provided a daddy for Ava and a husband, friend and godly man for Mary Kate. Everything we prayed about the Lord listened to, every desire in MK's heart is being fulfilled and we are watching as the Lord thru Keith and others is gently wooing our daughter back to Him and restoring what the locust had eaten.