Today we spent the whole day cooking and baking for our Thanksgiving feast... it was fun and I sure enjoyed the kids. We had lots of time to talk and share and I heard them say mom or momma so many times today. It got me thinking about what it is like for my children who had a mom before me to now have a second mom. So tonite I asked all my children who could remember their first mom to tell me a little about her. These are a collection of their memories bad and good of their mom:
She had brown hair. I remember when I would fall asleep she would lay with me and leave after I went to sleep.
I don't really remember my mom. I can't remember what she looked like ( this was by a daughter who was old enough to). I had my mom's sister come and visit me after my mom died and I was in the orphanage. The caregiver told her not to come back because I called her mom.... but, I did remember her.
I remember one time trying to wake her up but she was drunk and would not wake up.
She had brown reddish hair, long and straight, green eyes and she smiled like Olivia. She helped us with our school work. She was a good cook. One of my favorites was sugar candy. She worked in a bakery. Then this daughter told me a story about a shelf in her home and this is how she described it," It's kind of like ours." My heart leapt when I heard her say it that way because I knew that she now had some ownership to her new home by saying the word," ours".
The 3 sisters described loving when their mom made kasha, a pea and barley soup and perogies. There mom also had a vegtable garden. They described some not positive things about bad guys trying to break in to their house and mom not letting them in.... and one broke glass and there was blood all around. They also described a Red House - which sounded like a drug house and a place where bad things happened to girls like rape... the it was mentioned, " They killed dad."
Red hair and she worked on a farm. The farmer was rich. She gave me money.
Finally one of my daughters had nothing at all positive to say about her mom. She was very scary. She always was the one to start the fights with my dad. She would grab me and throw me down.. she described many other fights and crying and then running to her sisters.
I also asked them what it was like to have a second mom... all were genuinely positive responses... and one said," I love my second mom". I told him I knew that he loved me... becasue when my own daddy died last May... he would not leave me alone... he stood by me all the time for a month afterwards. He would rub my back and my arm. When I layed down to nap on the couch... he brought his toy cars over to play right by me.
What is it like to call someone momma , someone who did not give birth to you? I got one answer that said, " I love it here and would not want to go back to that." This just shows you how resislient these children are. Some of them have had very negative family experiences and I even shared with them how much they all had overcome... these are the most compasionate children/people I know. They are so attached to their new family and we are to them... they love spending time with me their momma in the kitchen cooking and baking for Thanksgiving. I heard Leah say," When I get married and leave here I will always come back for Thanksgiving to eat momma's food." Once on a talk show we were asked how do we love so many... honestly one way I do is to cook and bake for them. They get so excited and our meal is enjoyed ... not so much because I am a good cook but just the fellowship that we all share.... and now with these dear ones we are making memories... happy ones for them to cherish the rest of their lives.
It is so rewarding and I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for the opportunity for all of my children to call me momma. As I shared previously... I love being a momma to all of my kids.