Saturday, November 21, 2009

This is not a post about adoption per say but in a way it is...











When we came home from our first trip to Bulgaria Joseph had shared he really wanted to go back with us when we picked up his new brother and sister and to visit the orphanages. We had talked with Toni our lawyer and she was very open to this idea. Well then one day for some reason I can't remember Cate also was given the opportunity to go back with us. So we sent off for her passport and she started to raise money for her trip... she has gotten all her necessary funds and passport.

Joseph works at the Hagerstown, Maryland Sam's Club and had saved his funds to go and had already gotten a passport in hopes of one day getting the opportunity to travel with us back to an orphanage... He has grown up completely in the orphanage his whole life... he never met his parents or even knew he had siblings ( he met them because we needed their signature for court- even though they never made contact with him). He was adopted at almost 16 yrs and had actually been moved to a hell hole of a technical school. They had no heat, not enough food ( you had to pay the director extra money to get more) and his window was broken in his room... no glass in it ( to get it repaired you also had to pay the director extra money) and he only had one pair of old woolen pants and a shirt. He had been abused by others and made fun of for his inability to speek like everyone else due to his cleft lip/palate issues. Cate, Naty and Leah were in the same orphanage ( not technical school) and they shared of many times he was beaten by bullies... in summer he was sent to the insane aslyum because they thought he was crazy because he could not talk well and the other kids were sent to the beach. So he has had a rough life.... but you would not ever see any of the bad behavior or abuse come out in him...it has made him super sensitive to others... he has so much compassion it amazes me... he hates sad movies like the Titanic because of the emotions expressed in it... he is a softy.. I also can count on him to be there when needed... he has an excellent work ethic and ability to get the job done. He is a great older brother too... I call him my holy spirit whisperer... if one of his siblings is acting up he can help them see it and they change ... they listen to him....

Sure we took a chance on adopting an almost 16 yr old boy with his background... but, we are so glad we did. He gives so much to others . He cares for others in such a way that I know the Lord uses him to spread the love of the Lord to whomever he comes around. He is well liked and loved by many....

Now tonite my momma's heart is breaking for him because this trip to Bulgaria is a very big deal to him ... for many reasons... it is a chance for him to be able to come to terms with some of his life before he was adopted. I think it will help him immensely to deal with his past... having us there and also being a part of the process to adopt his brother and sister. He will also have the opportunity to give back some to the orphans we will be visiting and it would have been a life changing experience for him....

Now the reason my heart breaks for Joseph is all along he told his managers at Sams that he would be taking time off for this trip... at first we thought it was going to be in late Oct. and then late Nov.. and now it is the middle of Dec... even as late as a week ago the head manager at the Sams told me, "It would not be a problem" when I shared we would know our dates Nov. 17... just yesterday though when he submitted his request .. it was denied. Joseph even called the regional manager ( who is the store managers boss) and Joseph and I spoke with him ( because Joseph is hard to understand on the phone sometimes with his cleft palate) I shared for him in the conversation... his name is Casey and he was proffessional about it but restated their policy of no time off during the holidays.... we understand this but we know last October they did give another employee time off ( a month) for a personal reason similiar to this.... Joseph is their top plus seller and he really is a great employee... every week that I go there to shop... and if Joseph is around me helping ( not working) lots of customers recognize him and comment to me what a great person and worker he is... then they will ask him where something is and off he will go to help them... even when he is not working... that is just the kind of person he is. I have even been shopping in another store with him and had Sams Club customers recognize him and say wonderful things about him.. it is very uncanny but makes me very proud of my son.

It also makes my heart hurt for him...they said he could quit and reapply after the holidays... but they would start him at starting pay and not fulltime ... so really that hurt just as much to hear that... Joseph even offered to take the time off and not get paid... even though he is owed vacation time and personal time and will loose it if he quits. Sams obviously does not value their employees but I won't go there more than this comment... what really hurts is Joseph has never ever really wanted anything in life before... other than a family and now this trip... a trip to help him overcome some past in his life and to face the future better... another upsetting part of it to me is... if we had not had all the delays waiting after our first trip like the "wonderful" embassy consular in Sofia, or the MOJ or the added days to the process because of the new law, Joseph could have gone... so you remember my post from that frustrating time...

So please pray for Joseph... he will say he is ok ... he has considered quitting but probably won't . It just really upsets me that he has to work at a place who really does not care . I know in my heart he is hurting... one more time in his life he gets a disappointment... one more time he is being seen not for who he is but just another worthless being to be used ...

8 comments:

soontobemomof9 said...

This makes me so MAD and SAD! Oh how I wish you lived here so I could express my disappointment to SAMS!

This isn't right Jeanne. Is he friends with the other employees? Could some of them pull together and volunteer to work extra the week he would need to be gone?

I am very disappointed with Sams club tonight!

Molly said...

This makes me angry and sad. There is no real reason they couldn't bend the rules.

I have to say, I worked at a place like Sam's and it was SO clear they didnt care. My brother had to go to the hospital and I called to tell them I couldn't come in. Their response? "well you really need to get someone to cover your shift. so start calling some people"


I'm praying they change their minds. I'd go all the way up the HR ladder. and explain the situation. praying they change their minds.

smctiver said...

Oh Jeane, I am sooo sorry for Joseph. His employer does not deserve such an honorable,kind & considerate employee. I pray that he will find a way to travel with you to bring his siblings home.

You should send your blog entry and the comments that I am sure you will receive to his regional manager.

Toni said...

How awful that they would deny him. Big corporations only think of numbers and dollars and not the wonderful people they have working for them. Is there anyway that you can go to an even higher up and explain the situation. Maybe get ahold of the corporate office somehow. I will be thinking positive thoughts for Joseph.
Wishing you the best on your travels,
Toni

lady bug said...

Have you looked into Family medical leave act. You can go to the doctor and he can approve you to be off for a medical reason to include adoption and mental healing. They can not fire you, or decrease pay or take away vacation. Joesphe is in my prayers.

Mike and Christie said...

That is really not right! I wonder if there is an appeals process, or better yet, a news paper columnist that can take on his cause?

How cold! He works his heart out for them and they treat him like nothing.

That,unfortunately is the "American " way now.

So sad.

marianne said...

A similar thing happened to my brother and it was a blessing in disguise.

He loved working in a small local grocery store and would have stayed forever but it is not exactly a job for life.

When he was forced to leave, he went back to school and ended up with a career that supports him very well. I look on it as God thing that gave him the push, as he was capable of so much more then what he had been doing.

Shea said...

This makes me so very mad!!!! I too would look into the family medical leave act.