Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Price of A Child is Costly- " Thank you for wanting me"

We watched the movie, October Baby last week. It was a good movie and one that even made me reflect deep into my heart and soul about my children.....especially the very last sentence spoken by the woman to her adopted father- " Thank you for wanting me." After the movie was over I watched as each child of mine still at home passed by me and gave me a hug good nite. I looked more deeply into their eyes and I wondered...did they to feel that no one wanted them? More importantly do they know how deep was our desire to love them as our son or daughter? Did they know how special and precious was the day we heard their new last name as Briggs ? To be able to say to them, " You are my son/daughter today. I am your momma or dad" was as life changing for us as it was for them. It was the same as I gave birth to my bio. children. I have been thinking of many thoughts I've wanted to share here and I hope it comes together like my thoughts are in my head and my feelings are in my heart.
We have some adoption news to share but can't just yet.I have heard about the conversations surrounding a family's decision to adopt. Often adoption is not well received by the ones who are closest to least not always at first. Some comments are said that can really hurt the family who have stepped into the journey of adoption. Many times these comments are said in innocence but often they are not. We have heard very few of them if you can believe that...maybe people think them but don't share but, I am aware of others who have and it hurts me. It hurts because the children who are birthed thru adoption are no less a child in the momma's heart. To hear comments that reflect this hurt. I think all children are a blessing and deserve to be celebrated for the new life God has given to the family. Comments surounding the cost of the adoption can also be, " It's your money you can spend it how you want. " cut deep to the core of a momma's heart. It sounds almost like they are comparing the adoption of a child to the adoption of a dog, buying a car, or spending money on a vacation when it is said like that. Adopting a child is costly. It is costly in more ways than just money. The process of adoption is very emotional with all the ups and downs of the legal process...We have experienced many times the joy of getting a referral to the deep pain of losing the child we had already begun to bond with in our heart. I also have experienced the loss of a baby during my pregnancy and the pain of a miscarriage and loss of the opportunity to adopt a specific child are a similar pain. I have also invested much in the lives of my children and have had some lost to my life by their own choice and walk. They are always in my heart but not in my daily life . I miss them but understand their choice. It still is a cost paid for deeply in my heart. Life can be challenging to adopt 25 children ( many with special needs) and to have given birth to 5 bio. children ....but when I look in the eyes of my child I know that they were wanted. I know how deep I ached to hold them in my arms. I remember my tears of joy and pain as I have watched them struggle to overcome a past that I had no part of...but I am encouraged by the child that is before me for I know they are given to Paul and I as a blessing...and I would hope I would never think of them as any less than this. Yes, the price of a child is costly but the joy of knowing that they know they all were wanted ( bio. and adopted) is worth all the cost and pain.
We often get asked, " How do you do it?" Our response is from 2 Corinthians 5:14....for Christ's love compels us. Are you feeling the love of Christ in your life ? What might he be challenging you to ? What is so convicting to your soul that you can too say, " for Christ's love compels us."


abarrelofbakers said...

Well! I think your thoughts came together in print very well my friend! Much to think about and relate to in your words. I also think I very much need to meet you some day.

abarrelofbakers said...
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Mike and Christie said...

I think your words and thoughts came together quite well. :)

MARY B. said...

Beautifully said...I am not good with words heart bursts with love and joy but my words fall short daily.
Love, Mary B.

Stacey said...

Your message is conveyed well. The thing is, whether there be a single child or multiple children, biological or otherwise, we aren't raising children but adults. And eventually, that adult will make their own choices that can sometimes hurt. You have great respect for your children...ALL of them, even those who have forsaken the family and I appreciate that about you. I can tell you would never shut the door on them, no matter how long they are gone. And that's truly Father God's heart beating in your chest.

Excited to hear your news!