I started to write this in response to a comment and it began to get long and so decided to post it instead...
Moon dog at this time I believe she is way beyond that ... she is desperate and in need of immediate help as was the child.. it was wrong what she did but from one article I read someone was given 200 dollars to either travel or meet the child and did not.Who knows if we will know all the details about this situation. I know lots of parents who put their child on a plane alone to travel to their other parent... unfortunately with the number of families in the midsts of divorce ... children traveling by themselves alone is common. I personally would not do it because I feel that it is not safe.
I think the mom wanted him gone in a flash...I know that not all social services will take an internationally adopted child as you suggested...she may have called 911 more than one time...again I have experienced an insensitive police officer before -not with us personally but with another family and I just had a very not positive conversation with the social worker in the state where the child we were hoping to adopt from thru disruption and she was not going to be helpful to this family at all... mostly from her concern about the cost. Which was my point...I have not read much about what they tried to do and who knows if what we read or watch in the media is accurate... I just don't think we can be as harsh towards the family as the adoption community is... that to me is selfish. We can be angry as I am for the ramifications towards adoption but mostly I suggest more needs to be done ... especially when a child comes home and the family can't deal with the violence or harmful behaviors of a child like this one sounds like. It should always be about the children and it is unfortunate that adoptions may be closed or at least affected by this... but still no one seems as upset about the conditions of these orphanages... everyone wants to hang this woman because it might stop their own adoption or someone they know who is in process... that is sad but the root of this whole issue is not being given any discussion.... what about the terrible conditions in these country's orphanages and how the Russians, Bulgarians, Ukrainians or Mexicans are treating these children... Why is very little being shared about this... because people are afraid of ruffling feathers in the adoption world.. I think it is time that more adoptive parents stand up and share about the conditions they know their kids suffered in .... it is not a political issue at all ... it is a moral and ethical issue.... children are to be valued and not subjected to the conditions I personally witnessed in the many orphanages we have traveled in. Speak up for them.... I have several videos that would make you sick to watch how these kids are treated... talk to my kids .... anger yes I have plenty that this woman made a bad choice but I have way more anger towards the people who treated my children this way.
5 comments:
You are right that we need to understand how the children are being treated in the orphanages. A little boy who has known nothing but abuse and made to feel like an inconvenience is going to carry some emotional baggage to a new home. While I cannot condone his mother's actions--a case like this can be avoided by raising awareness about the conditions in these orphanages. We should seer Christians starting children's homes that are run with love, and teaching other people that those born with challenges are just as much people created in the image of God as you and I are. Finally, for the children who have suffered--the right family needs to be found. While I am not against single parent adoption--I have considered it myself--there are some children that would be difficult to raise alone--or that need a home without small children. In all I think the best response to this situation is to learn from it and to pray for this mother and for this precious little boy, and for us each to ask ourselves what the Lord would have us do to help these orphans and to be the voice of those little ones who are not in a position to speak for themselves.
Hi Jeanne,
This is something that is also close to my heart.
I recently posted on my blog about what I saw in country and how the orphans were treated.
I ended up deleting it after several days because it was circulating on other blogs and was advised by RR that it could cause serious complications for those in the process or even us if we want to adopt again.
So, you don't really know what to say and not to say. You want to enlighten people of how these children really live, yet you don't want to cause problems for future adoptions...
It's a confusing, fine line.
But, I hear you!
Jodi
Jodi... thanks for sharing. I did read that on your blog and I am not surprised RR suggested that to you. This is exactly what is wrong in my opinion now in the adoption community... yes families need to be able to adopt, and children need homes but when do these groups start to really do something to change the way these children are treated...in my opinion the adoption community is not reacting to this issue as they should... and to encourage us to not speak out because it may harm our chances is probably true... I just have had enough of this... and feel that more needs to be done to shed the light the truth about what is really going on in these orphanges... and to start holding someone responsible fot their lack of care and for the abuse that goes on... sorry I understand where you and RR are coming from... I just don't agree that we should be quiet anymore. The reality of the hell in these orphanages and what adoptive parents are often left to deal with on their own has to be addressed... I do not doubt for one moment this poor woman was lied to and may have tried to get help... there is not much out there for families, especially if you can't pay...not to mention the reality of the safety issue while you wait to get in to a program... who helps you every nite and day while you wait for your turn into a program... it is not as easy for some families to go to social services ( they are threatened with the removal of all of their children and worse if they go forth).. I have gotten some emails about this... fortunately for me we have never had a child like this but my heart goes out to these families and to the child... there is a reason the children are so violent... and much has to do with the conditions in their orphanage... so will Russia even come clean about this or be truthful --NO WAY.. everyone covers their own butts.
Jodi- I know that you understand fully... and it is hard to know what to do about it... I just pray that more people will stand up and ask some questions about this and not be afraid of ruffling feathers...
After 25 yrs of adopting I am tired of this attitude and nothing has changed just because we all "played" the game so we could get our kids.
Jeane --- you are a breath of fresh air and wisdom!
I tried so hard to find positives in my childrens orphanages. Maybe I have even glamorized it.... I think some of the people seemed so nice, can it be that bad? Tavi seems to be doing well, can it be that bad? But?
You are right. There is a bigger problem and it is world wide, just not in international adoptions, but in US foster care also. Children are a commodity, they are not valued, and emotional trauma is an expected adn accepted consequence that so many blame the child for, or a family that disrupts... there IS a bigger issue!
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